


The Way You Hold Me

by Runners



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-13
Updated: 2016-08-12
Packaged: 2018-05-06 12:50:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 28,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5417690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Runners/pseuds/Runners
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Action takes part after "The Fourfold Trap". What if Leo couldn't sleep. What if he wondered about what might have happened to Karai after Splinter used healing hands mantra on her? What if he went out of the lair to look for her? *Possible Leorai*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1  
I can’t sleep. Thinking of her keeps me awake. Healing hands were supposed to help her, not to harm her. I told sensei to use the mantra on her. She can now be hurt, maybe even dead… I don’t want to think about her, but sometimes we don’t have a choice, we think about someone a lot.  
When I was little me and my brothers used to skate board in the sewers. Not far from home, but always with a small feeling of freedom.  
One day Mikey saw a mushroom. He didn't tell us about what he found, instead of it he ate the mushroom that was full of chemicals. On our way back home I noticed something was wrong with him. He wasn't making any noise, wasn't rushing us to go faster, because he wanted to see a stupid kid show. He walked slowly, with a face full of pane. Me and Raph took him on our sholders and with D we ran to the lair.  
Father laid him on a bed and was using mantras on him, but they weren't working well. We didn't take it well. Raph closed in his room and didn't let anyone in. I heard him cry at night. I was going to his door and waiting for him to open them. He didn't. Donnie worked in his lab to find meds for Mikey, but he wasn't even ten years old and couldn't do much. I sat by my little brother for days.  
After sometime I had started losing hope he'd ever get better. Sensei had to noticed that, because he grabbed my shoulder and said "Never lose hope". It happened to be the greatest lesson in my life. Mikey got better thanks to father's mantras. Raph came out of his room and Donnie of his lab. Mikey got his lesson, but also did I.  
"Never lose hope"  
Sensei is losing his hope and I can't do anything, but watch it.  
I get up from my bed. I am not willing to lie there, when I know I should do something. There still are some places me and guys weren't looking for Karai yet. I grab my katana and with ninja mode I run out of the lair.  
I look around sewers for hours. It’s dark and I can barely see, but for years I’ve been studying the sewers, so it’s not a problem for me.  
It’s probably four a.m. and I’ve found… nothing. I know I should be heading home before I get lost, but I can’t give up, not yet.  
I go as quiet as I can’t, but I almost miss a sound of wheezing. I turn to right and I see them. I see those beautiful amber eyes I fall in love every time I see them. I hear her sigh and it’s the most precious sound I’ve heard in my whole life.  
She’s not mutated anymore. Her body is normal, her eyes are normal. She smiles at me “Leo?” she whispers like she would be asking herself if it’s not a dream. I come closer to her, because those few meters kill me and I think they do the same to her, because the rest of her strength she hugs me tightly. I put one arm around her waist and other in her hair and massage it slowly.  
“You’re okay” I smile stupidly and awfully happily.  
“I am” she whispers and I almost feel her smile. I can’t remember the last time I saw her truly happy. “Are you?”  
“I am, now that you’re here.”  
“That’s probably the most cheesy think you could have said.” But no matter what she says I know she’s happy.  
As we walk to the lair I feel her freeze. I turn back to face her and I see doubt on her face. What is she doubting?  
“Karai? Is everything okay?” I ask not sure what to do.  
“I… I don’t know Leo” she sits on subway stairs.  
“What don’t you know? Aren’t you sure about coming back?” I ask sitting next to her. I thought it was okay to take her home. That it was what she wanted. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I wasn’t doing it for her, but for myself?  
“No, it’s not like that. I wanna be here. I just…” she sighs. “I just don’t know if I would ever fit here.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“I don’t if I would ever become a real part of this family. I mean… I don’t know how guys gonna react when they see me, what father will say about all that happened and… there’s no way our relation won’t be awkward. Because it’s not the life I used to know.”  
I want to smile, because she doesn’t want to leave, but at the same time I feel awful for her. She doesn’t know how real family looks like. She’s afraid she would only be a distraction. A useless part in our lives.  
“Karai, just listen. Ever since you ran sensei wasn’t himself. He’s not angry at you, hell he doesn’t blame you, but himself. And guys? Mickey and Donnie surely will be happy to have you here and Raph… he will be himself. He won’t be nice or very talkative, but that’s the way he is to everyone. And when you’ll get tired of us you’ll have April to talk to and I know she already likes you” I stop and take a breath. Karai just looks at me with a smile on her face. We don’t say anything.  
I let my gaze wonder over her. Her make up is almost all gone and she doesn’t look like a deadly kunoichi, but a normal teenage girl. The lack of her make up is not the only thing that has changed in her. Also her air are different. They’re much longer, reaching neckline of her black top. What’s funny she still has blond highlights on the back of her head.  
“We don’t have to wake them up now if you don’t want to” I say. “I can make you some tea” I offer and she gladly accepts my offer.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2  
I watch him make a tea, while I try to stop the hurricane of thoughts in my head. It all happens so fast. I’m Karai Saki then I’m Miwa Hamato and then I’m a mutant that can’t control itself. And now… now I’m here with him, watching him make a tea. After all we’ve been through he’s still there for me. I don’t know why, but maybe I do. But I know he deserves better.   
“Karai?” he asks with two cups of tea in his hands. I must have drifted away, because I didn’t see him end making the tea. “Do you want to talk about this?” Care in his voice makes me wanna cry. Since I remember nobody cared about me. Not the way he does.   
“I don’t even know what to say” I confess. That’s truth. I don’t know what to say or what to do. I feel like a baby that needs her mum in the middle of the night, because she had a nightmare. The problem is my whole life is a nightmare with no place for my mum. Maybe that’s why she was killed? Maybe there just wasn’t any place for her?  
“Then don’t tell anything. You can do whatever you want now. You’re finally free. And you can stay silence as long as you want. No one will force you to do anything.” I shiver. He’s so adorable. I know he wants to know how I feel and what I think, but he says he’s willing to wait as long as he has to.   
As he stands up I feel kind of a fear I’ve never felt before.  
“Leo, please don’t go” I beg surprising myself. I never beg, no matter what.  
“I didn’t mean to leave. I’ll just go grab you a blanket.” The smile he sends me is not full of care, but of warmth. I smile back and look him in the eyes. They’re so peaceful. I have to look away, because my eyes starts to water. No one has ever seen me crying and that’s not going to change soon.   
As he leaves I try to calm myself, but the tears are strong opponents. I don’t know what happens to me. I spend with him few minute in almost complete silence and it makes me so emotional. Because he cares I’m cold? Cares…  
I love you, my daughter.   
What will my father think when he sees me? Will he be happy, angry or confused? Maybe all emotion will attack him fast or slowly?   
He puts blanket around me, but I heard him walk toward me. He might be a ninja, but I am too and I’ll always hear him.   
“Thank you” I whisper like I want to keep it to myself, but I think he heard it anyway.   
He smiles at me and I cannot help, but smile back. There’s something about him. He’s somehow special, different, adorable…  
“Hey Leo, Karai!” Mikey walks happily into the kitchen. He doesn’t even seem surprised I’m here. He opens fridge and takes some foods out of it, while me and Leo look at him eyes wide open. After putting food on the table he looks at me and a big smile light up his face. “Kaaaraaaaiiii! You’re back!” He yells and I’m sure he just woke up the entire city.   
He runs to me and before I know what happens I’m being lifted of the chair and Mikey hugs me while spinning me around.  
“Okay, I think it’s enough” Leo putts a hand on Mikey’s shoulder and stops his spinning before I get a chance to throw up.  
“It’s great to see you too, Mikey.” It really is. At least I know I’m welcomed here not only by Leo.  
“What are you yelling about Mi-“ Raph comes to kitchen half asleep, but when he sees me he becomes awake.   
“You… here… h-how?”  
“Didn’t you learn to talk properly just yet, Raph?” I ask.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3  
Her eyes watered as she saw Splinter. She seemed unsure. She whispered something, but I couldn’t hear her. She hugged him, while apologizing for what had happened. It was not her fault at all and we - I mean Splinter knew it.   
“H-how did you find her?” Donnie asked me. He seemed slightly exited, which I’m happy of.   
“I just…” I thought for a second. What was I thinking? – The truth is… I wasn’t. I just felt the need to go and search for her once again. “ I don’t know. I just couldn’t sleep and went outside.”  
“Yeah, ‘course fearless” Raph said. He grabbed milk and walked out of the kitchen.  
She still talks to sensei. For months they haven’t seen each other, so they have a lot to talk about.   
Donnie called April and told her about Karai, so she should be there soon with some clothes.   
“Do you think she likes chocolate?” I hear Mikey’s voice behind me.   
I turn around to face him. The question is so out of context, it makes me frown.   
“I… I don’t know. Probably yes, why?”  
“I’m making a cake and I don’t know which one she will like most.” He says with a big smile.   
“If not chocolate cake then which one?”  
“I don’t know. We only have ingredients for chocolate cake.” I just shake my head, but see Raph face palming himself. . I look back and Mikey and offer my help. “I don’t know dude. You suck at cooking.” He lets me help him anyway.  
Kitchen is one big mess. It is probably the last time Mikey let me do anything in the kitchen.   
“You’re doing it wrong” he says and takes ingredients away from me.   
“Sorry” I chuckle. “Just tell me how to do it.”  
“I told. Seven times.”  
“Seven? Can’t be that many” I say.  
“Actually eight” Donnie says from behind me.  
“Don’t you have anything better to do?” I ask D.  
“Mikey should ask you the same thing” Raph walks into kitchen and I roll me eyes.  
“Why are you always against me?” I ask them.  
“We’re not against you, Leo” Mikey puts his hand on y shoulder. “You just suck at cooking. So don’t touch my food ever again” he goes back to baking the cake and I just sight.  
“You won’t show off in front of your girlfriend” Raph teases me.  
“She’s not my-“ he leaves the room before I can finish the sentence.   
“Try it now, bro” Mikey takes some mixed ingredients on spoon. I try to take it, but he refuses and says he wants to puts it in my mouth by himself. Of course he misses when we hear April runs into lair. Sticky liquid lands on my cheek, but I don’t care at the moment.   
“Hi guys!” April chugs. “Where is she? How does she feel? Is she human?” She speaks so fast I can barely understand her. The fact she chugs all question doesn’t help.  
“Calm down, April” I chuckle. “She’s fine. She’s with father now.”  
“Oh, April” Donnie walks into the room. “You’re finally here!”  
“Yes, I am and I have some clothes and stuff for Karai” she handles him a bag. “I thought she might needs some.”  
“I’m sure she’ll appreciate it” I say with a thankful smile.   
“How did you find her anyway?” April asks. “D didn’t say a lot through the phone.”  
“Hey, it’s not my fault you were so excited you didn’t let me finish and said you were coming” he defends himself. Me and April laughs at him.  
“Sorry D. I didn’t mean it. At least not that way” he chuckles at her words.   
“Hi princess” I turn around and see Karai walking toward us. “What do you have on your cheek?” She point at brown liquid.  
“Oh, this? Mikey was making a cake and wanted me to taste-“ before I can end my sentence she leans closer and kiss my cheek. I’m shocked. She sucks onto my cheek, while her tongue caress it. It lasts only for a second, but it feels like eternity. I have a weird feeling in my stomach and when she pulls away and I want to pull her right back. I don’t.   
“Mmmm… That’s delicious” she says and licks her lips. “Mikey I wanna a pig piece of that cake” she says while she goes to kitchen. “Oh, father wants you to go for training” she looks at Donnie then at me and disappears in the kithen.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4  
I never cry. Maybe it’s because only weak people cry, at least that’s what Shredder used to tell me, and maybe it’s because I’m heartless.   
That’s how I felt when I saw my father for the first time. I wanted to kill him. Slowly, painfully, I wanted to be heartless. I wasn’t at least not enough.  
I wasn’t heartless today. When I saw him. Tears came to my eyes. They never fell down my cheeks. But they were there. And Splinter saw them.  
We talk. About my mum. About Splinter’s childhood. We don’t talk about revenge. I apologize, but he assures me it’s not my fault, but his. I don’t believe him, but I don’t argue with him. I’m too tired, would even say exhausted.   
“I don’t want you to train for few days. I think you need to rest, before I start training you” I smile at him. I might need a small break. “I also don’t think you should go out of lair. At least not for few weeks. You’re number one in Shredder’s target.”  
“I think we all are.”  
I hug him several times. I need closeness more than ever. Now finally someone is willing to give it to me.   
As I walk out of dojo I hear my father says  
“Can you ask boys to come for training?”  
“Of course” I smile and leave the dojo.   
As I walk into living room I see April, Donnie and Leo.   
“Hey princes” I say and walk closer and then I see some brown, dried liquid. “What do you have on your cheek?” D and April don’t bother looking at us. They’re too deep into they’re conversation.   
“Oh, this? Mikey was making a cake and wanted me to taste-“ Leo explains. I stop listen to him when I hear a word cake my mind drifts away. How long has it been since I last ate something sweet? I shake the question out of my head and kiss Leo on cheek. I wanted to do that before, but… I don’t know why I didn’t do it.   
I suck lightly and taste the chocolate liquid. It melts in my mouth and I have to stop myself from sighting. It’s the best kiss on the cheek I ever made to somebody. There’s no big competition to that, but still.  
“That’s delicious. Mikey I wanna a pig piece of that cake!” I scream hoping he’ll hear me. I start walking to the kitchen and then remember what father asked me to do. “Oh, father wants you to go for training” I don’t wait for their answers. I just go search for Mikey.  
After I find Mikey and Raph in the kitchen, Mikey tells me cake will be baked in four hours. Seriously? Who keeps cakes in oven for four hours? I come back to living room, trying to forget about the delicious chocolate cake. April takes things out of her bag. I walk closer to her to see what it is.  
“What is it?” I ask and she jumps. And you wanna be kunoichi?   
“I didn’t see you coming” she takes a breath to calm herself down. “I brought you some clothes, cosmetics, a towel and other stuff.”  
“I…” I don’t know what I want to say. What she did is not a big deal , but still it feels nice to know someone thought about you. One day I might get used to it. “I really appreciateit.”   
We stand in uncomfortable silence for a while, when I finally say   
“I’m gonna take a shower.” I must stink as hell. How long has it been since I last showered?   
“Yeah, sure… I’ll be there, when you finish” she says and sits on the couch.   
I look around the lair for bathroom. I should have asked April where it is. I shake thoughts out of my head. I don’t ask for help, ever.   
I almost bump into blue door. I open them and walk inside. I don’t even have to turn the light on to know to who this room belongs. Walls are blue Japanese symbols decorates them. I also notice something protruding under the bed. I take it. It’s my sword, my tanto. How adorable, stupid, but adorable.  
I put sword back on its place and walk to second door in this room. Thankfully it’s a bathroom and it has a shower. I put April’s bag on a small cupboard and takes out shampoo, conditioner, towel and take a look at the clothes she gave me. They’re terrible.   
I shake my head and leave them in the bag and walk into cabin and let water fall on me. I’ve always loved water and when I feel it touching me, making me wet I want to laugh. I adore the feeling on my skin. The hot water takes every bad memory, awful thoughts away.   
I walk out and put a towel around me. I have to hide my pride and put yellow shirt on. God, I’m so going to regret it.   
Yeah, I regret it. But I don’t have a choice . I look in the mirror and learn that yellow is definitely not my color. What’s worse my make-up is gone and April hasn’t brought me red eyeliner. I think black has to do the job. I make thick lines on my eyes and smile. I might get used to it.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5  
I feel sweat on my forehead. Training isn’t hard and as much as I love Donnie, he is not a competition to me. I just… worry about Karai. I know it’s stupid especially now, after she showed how much comfortable she’s around us. But still I keep wondering what she does know. Does she talk to April, wear clothes that she was given? What does she think? How she feels?  
“Leonardo, focus!” I hear sensei’s voice and frown. I quickly nod and attack Donnie. But still I’m distracted.   
The way she looked at father. The way she acted in the kitchen. This is who she really is. An afraid girl with a mask on. Used girl acted to be strong. A broken kunoichi that I want to repair. I want to be her glue, which will put her in one peace again. She’s good and I have always known it.   
I come to my senses when D hits me on the left hand with his stick. My sword lands on the floor and on my bro’s face appears big, proud smile.  
“I-I did it. I precipitated you your kata-“ he distracts himself from fight and I use it against him. I don’t have to do much. I undercut his legs and it’s enough. He lands shocked on his shell and I bring my second katana to his throat.  
“Yeah, you did it, D” I smile mischievously.  
After we finish training I want to take a quick shower, but Splinter stops me, saying he wants to talk to me.  
“Sensei, I’m sorry I wasn’t focused on today’s training, but I just-“ he interrupts me with a smile.   
“That’s not what I wanted to talk about, my son.”  
“No?” I frown. Then about what?  
“No, of course not. You managed to win , didn’t you?”  
“Yeah, I did, but-“  
“You see winning is not everything, but in fight it is” he says like he says something obvious.  
“I don’t think I understand, master” I say truly. If it wasn’t about that then why did he want to talk to me.  
“I wanted to thank you, Leonardo” before I can ask why he continues. “For bringing my daughter home.”  
I go to my room and put my katanas on their place. Then I head to the bathroom. I open the door and light is already turned on.   
Karai is here and she looks at me. At first she seems shocked, but probably I am more. Why is she in my bathroom? Why is she wearing yellow? Why she has black, small make up instead of rich red? Why does she look so beautiful I can’t look away? Why is it so hot in here? Goddamn it, Leo. Stop staring!  
“Hi” she says normally. Her cocky smile finds its place on her face.   
“Hi” I greet her back. “What are you doing here, if I may ask?” Seriously Leo?  
“I was looking for a toilet and that’s the only one I found. I hope you don’t mind.”  
“N-no, just you know there’s a-another bathroom in your room. You know, the one you slept last time.”   
She frowns, like she tries to remember, but quickly shakes her head.  
“Nah, I totally forgot about it.” We stand in silent. Which is uncomfortable. Just say something! “So… how do I look” she shows me her new clothes.   
After I complement her, I mean after I stutter a compliment she leaves. And I need few minutes, before I finally find myself in the shower. I try to process last twelve hours, when Mikey yells  
“Cake is ready.”  
As I walk into the living room I see everyone sitting on the couch, enjoying the cake.   
“Mikey, you’re a boss” Karai moans and putts some cake in her mouth.  
“I hope you save something for me” I say as I see Raph’s ready to comment. Mikey nods rapidly and points at the table, where stands a single piece of cake. I only whisper an “Oh” and take place besides my brothers on the couch.  
“Sis, you should taste my other cakes” Mikey says and cake crumbs fall out of his mouth. Raph makes a face full of disgust, but Karai only chuckles.  
“Are they as good as this one” she indicate what’s left on her dish.  
“Some of them are even better” he smiles “for example cheesecake, chocolate lava cake, pagoda cake-“  
“No shit, you seriously can make it?” She looks really excited. What is this pagoda cake? I look at Donnie but he simply shrugs and then starts looking at April.   
“Yeah, I can teach you if you want!” Mikey’s excited voice brings me back to their conversation.  
“No, I suck at cooking. It’s a miracle I actually can make a tea without burning a whole house.”  
Everything seems cool until April starts toying with Karai’s hair.   
“How come their so much longer and still half of them is still blonde? When did you dye them?”  
“I’ve never dyed them” she says like she wants to end the conversation. She doesn’t look at anyone and whatever is it that makes her so uncomfortable I want it to stop. But I don’t say anything. When she wants to talk she will. I think. But April doesn’t give up.  
“… Then why are you half blonde?” she asks, one of her eyebrows travels up.  
“Let’s just say it’s… natural” Karai says annoyed. I can tell she does everything not to sound angry. April, just stop, please. I still stay quiet.  
“it’s impossible. You’re Japanese and none of Asian has ever had a blond hair, especially not mix colors hair.”  
“You know what, April. It’s none of your freeing business. You better watch your hair before someone shaves them” Karai lets anger take over her. She stands up and leaves us.   
Raph laughs to himself. Mikey keeps on watching TV. April is shocked, like she tries to process what’s just happened, and Donnie, being himself, seems ready to kill anybody who dared to be rude towards April.   
“I’ll talk to her” I say as I follow Karai into the kitchen.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6  
I didn’t want to make a scene, but April gave me no choice. I just couldn’t talk about it. And the truth is, if I still know what it means, I don’t want to. I always wanted to forget about that day. I remember every detail. I remember the pain when they tied my hands, I remember the smoke that made me puke a few times, I remember-  
It’s enough. I tell myself. That day is over. Has been for years. I promised myself I won’t ever think about it.   
“God, I need a tea” I murmur.   
After I put some water into a kettle I look into fridge to see no cake is left. “Perfect” I snort.   
I’m aware of his presence after many years of training I would be even if I were deaf.   
“I won’t apologize” I say. It’s private and April has no right to put her nose into my stuff.  
Kettle wheezes for the first time.  
“If someone should apologize it’s April” he says, taking a seat on the kitchen’s table. He searches for my eyes and I, don’t even know why, let him find them.  
Kettle wheezes for the second time.  
“I… You’re on my side?” I don’t plan to sound shocked. Normally I can control myself. But not now, not with him.  
Kittle wheezes for the third time.   
“Of course I am. Whatever made your hair half blonde, whatever it is you don’t want to talk about… it’s okay. You don’t have to do anything you are not willing to do” he smiles lightly. His eyes are blue like an ocean, but they have something more… I cannot name it. Maybe because I was never given that? “But you should know something” his expression gets serious, but emotionless or acute. It’s somehow full of kindness. “Sometimes it’s better to share a secret. Before it burned you inside.”  
Kittle wheezes one last time.  
Leo turns it off and take to cups from a cupboard.   
“Japanese?” he asks and I smile.  
“You don’t have to drink tea with me.”  
“But I want to” he argues.  
“You know I can make it too” I say.  
“I heard a legend.”  
“- I should be glad you came instead of Donnie” I say. “he would probably be trying to kill me, ‘cause I threatened his princess.” I already drunk my tea and Leo gave ice cream from their cat, however weird it sounds.   
“Trying” he repeats. I chuckle  
“What’s with a cat, anyway?”  
“Well, we found him on a patrol and Mikey tried to return it to its owner, but… let’s just say he freaked out a little after he saw a mutated ninja turtle.”  
“It still doesn’t answer why it’s made of ice cream” I say with a smirk.  
“Yeah” Leo scratches his neck. “Mikey brought it home without telling anyone and accidently throw some mutagen at him.”  
“Let me guess, he was eating ice cream then and the cat wanted to try some” I almost laugh. “How Splinter reacted to the new pet?” I raise my eyebrow, not letting go of my smirk.  
“Yhm… Let just say he wasn’t very pleased, but he accepts him now.”  
“Him? What if it’s a girl?”  
“I trust Mikey’s right” I cannot help but make fun of him.  
“You trust Mikey on something other than cakes? You’re not gonna live long…”  
With smile on my face I ignore looks of April and Donnie. She looks rather upset and he… kinda defensive. If it’s even possible. Well, as I see it is when it comes to April.   
I follow Leo to my new old room. I didn’t even sleep here for a night, but I remember this place. Everything’s the same, but the bed. The bed is an actual bed.   
“It’s… nice” I say and catch Leo staring at me. When he sees me notice he turns his head in other direction. How adorable.   
“There’s a bathroom” he points at second door in the room. How come I didn’t notice them. “I’ll leave you, so you can have some time for yourself” he says and heads to leave. “If you need anything you know where to find me” our eyes meet for a second before I say  
“I left my, I mean April’s, things in your room.”  
“Let’s go get them.”  
I take stuff from his room and he wishes me goodnight before I leave “You too” I say barely understandable, but I feel his smile on my back when I go out.  
It’s a second time I take shower today and there’s no way for me to leave it soon. The way water falls onto my body is indescribable. I feel bad memories going away once again and I’m afraid of going out. I don’t want them to come back and haunt me at night, not letting me sleep peacefully. I’m scared I’ll drown in them like a small child. I should be heartless kunoichi, I shouldn’t fear of night, when it’s my day. I should feel nothing at all.   
But I don’t.  
Maybe it’s because I’m not a daughter of a revengeful ninjutsu master. I’m daughter of Hamato Yoshi. A men who raised four mutated turtle brothers. A sensei who teaches them. A first person ever to say “I love you, Miwa”.  
I cough as smoke finds its way to my langs. I cannot breath when drags get into my system. A wave of pain hits me again as his boot meets with my stomach. I hit the nearest wall and almost land on my kneeses. I don’t ‘cause no matter how it hurts I’m willing to give him pleasure of winning with me. He can try to break me, but he can never win with me.   
I wait for my so-called father to find me. And then I realize I’m not eleven anymore. I realize the things I see are not true. I realize the nightmare is over.  
I pray not to scream when I wake up.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7  
I can’t believe we talked like we were normal. We laughed, we drank tea together. Things were the way I always wanted them to be, I mean I kind of want something more… yhm… never mind… Anyway it’s a start. I cannot help but smile, while I look at the ceiling. After few minutes of staring I realize I’m not able to sleep right now.  
“Might as well drink some tea” I whisper to myself and go to the kitchen. To my surprise she’s already there.  
“Do you want some tea?” she asks, her voice trembles. I know she isn’t going to tell me what’s wrong so I only nod and take a sit.  
She must feel me stare at her, but I cannot help it. She looks so normal, yet I know she’s not. She’s anything, but normal. And know she’s lost. I wish she could just tell me what bothers her, but I know she will tell when she’s ready. I wish she could trust me enough to open up. I want her to choose me to open up.   
“Why aren’t you sleeping?” she puts a cup in front of me and pulls me out of my thoughts.  
“I just couldn’t sleep” I shrug “why?”  
“I thought I woke you up. Hope it really wasn’t me” she doesn’t sound like she cares about that a lot. But she always try to act differently than she feels.  
“Nope. Do you want to talk about your lack of sleep?”  
“Not at all” she looks at the wall where photo of me, my brothers and April with Casey. I wonder what she thinks of it. If she ever has a photo with her friends? Does she have friends in Japan?   
“I don’t know if you remember krangs invasion, but” she gives me a concerned look and I continue “Shredder help them attack New York, me and my brothers escaped from the lair, but I got separated. Shredder and the foot found me and beat me up pretty bad. I was in coma for three months” her eyes are wide open but when she notices me look comfortably at her she gazes into her tea. “When I woke up we were in April’s old farm house far from the city” she doesn’t even look at me and I go on with the story “I couldn’t walk or fight because my knee was broken” I see her hand tightens on the cup. “Na matter what I did, which medicine I took the pain didn’t seem to go away. One day I decided to take my bros for vision quest. We lived in the forest for few days without technology etcetera. That’s when I realized the pain wasn’t real, it was only in my head.” She looks up at me and I’m unable to read her expression.  
“Why are you telling me this?” I think she already knows the reason.  
“Because whatever you’re so afraid of… it’s only in your head. It will stay there as long as you let it. It will slowly take control and consume you from the inside.”  
“What do I do not to let that happen?” She says almost emotionless. Almost.  
“You take it out of yourself” I wait for her respond. She doesn’t remind me she doesn’t want to talk she simply nods and drinks her tea like she actually considers telling me.   
She doesn’t.  
When I wake up in the morning I hear Mikey’s screams. Normal.   
When I go to living room everybody’s already there. What surprise me is Karai talking to April like nothing happened.   
“Oh please, the yellow is the most hellish color. I cannot believe you wear it every day” April chuckles at kunoichi’s words.  
“Next time I’ll bring you something…?” she doesn’t have to wait long.  
“Black, maybe red” then her eyes meet mine and she smiles “Well, look our sleeping beauty decided to wake up” she says teasingly. “Mikey made some pancakes, if you’re lucky you’ll find leftovers in the kitchen” she smiles and go back to her chat with April.  
As Karai says I am lucky. I make some tea and for the first time it feels weird to drink it by myself. I got used to do it with her, although it hasn’t even been two days since she came back. She’s safe now. I think. God, I have to get her out of my head. But I don’t want to.   
My thoughts are interrupt when something hits the floor. I go to living room and… okay, I was expecting everything but that. Casey lays on his stomach and Karai’s knee keeps him from standing up.  
“Karai, let him go” April says and is given eyes roll look.  
“Tell, your friend to never sneak up on ninja. Why doesn’t he know that yet?”  
“Well, you didn’t react like that when we met last time.” Excuse me , WHAT!?  
“I think I hit him too hard” Karai says to April. “Listen, we never met” she says like she talks to five year old child. Hell, she doesn’t even speak like that to Mikey.   
“Oh, please, tell me you don’t remember the kiss” if it’s possible then she looks shocked – just like everyone else. What the freaking f-  
“April, you need to take him to hospital. I don’t know which drug he took but it’s getting annoying-“  
“I’m not on any drugs!” I observe everything from hall between kitchen and living room, but in truth I just want to disappear. And I think feeling is mutual for Karai. “You kissed me… and then kinda poisoned me.”  
“Well, that’s just fucking great!” she puts her hands in the air. “Listen… Casey…?” she looks at April and when she nods she goes on “I was mutated and brain washed and I didn’t have control over my actions and I don’t remember them and sure as hell I don’t want to so FUCK OFF, will ya?” she heads to the kitchen and I quickly make my way back there before she notices my shocked stare.   
“You heard everything, didn’t you?” she says from behind me.  
“Yeah…” I don’t think it’s a good idea to start this way. Not when she sounds frustrated, but mostly tired. “Tea?” She gives me a small smile and when I give her a cup she starts  
“Leo, I need you to tell me everything.”


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8  
“Tell me everything that happened after I got mutated” I say and try not to sound desperate but right now it’s on my least things to worry about list.  
“I…” he starts talking. “You really don’t remember anything?”  
I shake my head “No, I mean I remember you” his gaze rapidly finds eyes. “ You were looking for me and you found me.”  
“Y-you remember that” he seems shocked and… happy?  
“Yeah, I don’t remember much. I remember where I hid and that I told you where it was and when you came there and tried to help me but antimutagen didn’t work” I stop before I let him know rest. I don’t know if I want him to know, but I have to be honest with him. “But Shredder’s did” I expect him to interrupt me and ask billion questions but he does neither of them. “He captured me after I ran away from theme park. Stockman made something that turned me human again. Then they used that brain worm and since they put it into me I felt like I was sleeping” I finish and wait for his reaction. He keeps his gaze on the cup and argues with himself about what to say. I don’t rush him. I didn’t, and I don’t, plan on telling him anything about my past. I know he eventually will start talking. He just has to choose right words.  
“After you were brain washed things changed… a lot.” What does that mean?! “We saved New York from krangs but not from Shredder. He used you to poison me and my brothers, but also April and Casey.”  
Few hours earlier   
Nobody rashes into my room so it has to mean I didn’t scream. Thank God. I go to bathroom and wash my face with cool water. I didn’t think about past since I came to New York City. I didn’t have time for it and had more important things to worry about. Back then I was stronger. I could keep myself sane and in one piece, but I would never come back to those times.   
Since I discovered the truth about my father, everything has changed. I’m not the same heartless kunoichi. Now I’m a broken girl.   
I shake my head. I am strong. I just need time to get used to my new life routine.   
I look at myself in a mirror. “Well,… I look nice with long hair” I take some of them in my hand and shiver at sight of blond. Enough. I walk back to bed and lye my head on the pillow.   
I don’t know when I fall asleep.  
‘Where am I?’ I ask myself as I go through the sewers. I stop near water and take a sit. It was not the wisest choice of mine, because it stinks so awfully bad I almost puke.   
“Who’s there?” I scream when I see water moves. My gaze softens, when I see Leo and Donatello come out of it. “Guys? What are we doing here?” I tell them but they ignore me and go through a corridor. “Leonardo!” I yell but he doesn’t even look behind. I follow them and try to stop them, but I’m like the air.  
I decide to go after them. they talk about stinky air when I hear MY voice come from speakers. ’What the freaking hell is going on? Has Raph already killed me in my sleep???’  
“My brain is melting” Donnie says and I can’t help but roll my eyes. ‘So he’s the smart guy? The team BRAIN?!’  
“Dude, why do you have a pineapple for a head?” Leo asks and I almost stumble.   
“We’ve been poisoned!”  
They run… I don’t even know where, but I follow them. Sure as hell I am not being left alone here again. ‘Maybe I have a fever? It is not probably happening.’  
I can hear my voice again, saying something about how toxic my(?) venom is.  
But then I see myself. My eyes are snakishly green, even if I just invented this word it describes my(?) eyes perfectly. I… I mean, I think it’s a nightmare and I’m one of a bad guys again.  
“It’s over, Leonardo” he falls on his knees and then on the shell.  
“Leo!” I scream and run to him. He whispers something, but I don’t even try to understand it. “C’mon, Leo, stand-up” I tell him, but bad-me gets foot soldiers to lift him and his brother up.  
“You and your friends are finished” she- I admire my new dying family. Bad-me insults my father and talks about revenge. I don’t listen, but walk toward Leo. He doesn’t stop whispering stuff… ‘It sounds like a Japanese mantra.’  
Everything else happens so fast. Leo stands up and beats up foot-bots, but then he can barely stand on his feet.   
“Beating the poison impressive” I hear snaky voice from behind me. I put my arm around Leo to support him but I’m like the air. Untouchable.   
“Shredder…” he gasps. “He used some brain worm on you.”   
I observe the fight and almost scream when two snake bite his arms.  
“You’re than for!” ‘Oh, hell no!’ He does some mantra, starts shinning and when he bits brain washed-me he throws me(?) away and I(?) hit the wall.  
“Don’t you thing you were a little bit too harsh?” Of course he doesn’t respond.  
Clock on the wall shows seven a.m. when I wake up so I decide to put on some clothes and see if someone beside me is up.   
When I walk into the living room TV is on and Mikey with April watch some anime whatsoever.   
“Hi” I say. “I didn’t think you’d wake up so early” I tell her avoiding her gaze. I know she looks at me and is probably freaked out by my yesterday’s behavior.   
“Well, I always wake up earlier to school so seven isn’t that early for me” I’m glad she doesn’t ask about yesterday. It would only make everything worse. “What about you?”  
“I always patrol at night and then sleep ‘till twelve, but I am not going to leave the lair anytime soon, so I get more sleep at night” I look at Mikey and wonder how it feels to be so careless. I bet if I tried to kill April now he wouldn’t even notice. Not that I’m planning on that. At least as long as she doesn’t stick one’s bib in my past.  
We end up eating Mikey’s pancakes and talking about shit.  
“I can’t believe you read Hopeless!” April squeaks in happiness.  
“That’s not the only Hoover’s book that I read. To be honest this one is not even my favorite.”  
“Then which one is?”  
“I don’t know I have a serious dilemma between Ugly Love and Confess.”  
“Oh” she says. “I thought it was going to be Maybe Someday.”  
“Why? Because it’s yours?” I snort.  
“Well,… you cannot blame me I just discovered we have so much in common!”   
“I think lots of people read those books. They’re pretty popular for bestseller.”  
“You understand that bestseller means lots of people buy it?”  
“You understand that every American book is a bestseller?” She laughs at my comment and I roll my eyes. “Please, everyone knows that!”  
“Yeah, but I meant we’re so similar! You read all classic books-“ I interrupt her  
“I had to pass baccalaureate.”  
“You already passed it?”  
“I passed it when I was ten” I tell her and her eyes grow bigger second by second.  
“You must be lying! No one is that smart at the age of ten!”  
“I’m a kunoichi who was raised by one of the most dangerous killers, was home school and had nothing to do. And I had to pass it so that year was devoted for studying. Plus I was in mountain and had no internet and guys at my age so… what was I supposed to do?”  
Leo disappears in kitchen when I feel someone’s arm around me. I wrench the hand and make guy with black hair fall to the floor and put my foot on his back.  
“Karai, let him go” I roll my eyes and free the guy.  
Tell, your friend to never sneak up on ninja. Why doesn’t he know that yet?”  
“Well, you didn’t react like that when we met last time.” Okay, maybe I was too violent.  
“I think I hit him too hard” I tell April and turn to the guy. “Listen” little prick “we never met” I say like I was talking to a baby.   
“Oh, please, tell me you don’t remember the kiss” What the holly fuck? I have to be more gentle with people.   
“April, you need to take him to hospital. I don’t know which drug he took but it’s getting annoying-“  
“I’m not on any drugs!” If this guy is telling the truth and I kissed him then someone is going to die. With a corner of my eye I see Leo who observes it in as much shock as I feel. “You kissed me… and then kinda poisoned me.”  
“Well, that’s just fucking great!” I put my hands in the air. Doesn’t he understand I was under dick-face control? “Listen…” I have to think for a moment “Casey…?” I look at April and when she nods I continue. “I was mutated and brain washed and I didn’t have control over my actions and I don’t remember them and sure as hell I don’t want to so FUCK OFF, will ya?” I see Leo disappearing in the kitchen and honestly I want to hide to so I follow him.   
He might be the only one who can tell me what happened.  
NOW  
“After you were brain washed things changed… a lot.” What does that mean?! “We saved New York from krangs but not from Shredder. He used you to poison me and my brothers, but also April and Casey.” He wants to go on but I stop him  
“Did I fight with you and you threw me at a wall?” I ask and our eyes meet. Normally I would laugh at his expression, but this I’m just as shocked as he is.  
“D-do y-you rem…” he shakes his head to stop stammering. “Do you remember that?”  
“I dreamt of it last night. I thought it was just a nightmare” I mean it. I would have never said it really happened.   
“Karai… did you dream of something else?” He is very concerned.  
“yeah, but it was something from my very past and it doesn’t includes events from this year.” I look at my hands.   
“You know you can trust me on anything, right?”  
“Leo” I find his gaze. “I cannot even trust myself.”


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9  
“I can’t even trust myself” I frown at her statement. I don’t really know what takes over me but I catch her hand in mine, waiting for her to push away, but she just looks at our hands. When she doesn’t do anything else I start  
“Karai, I told you if you don’t want to tell me anything it’s okay, but allow me” I tell her. She looks at me with her big, beautiful, amber eyes and nods. “You’ve seen Raph’s scar on the shell-“  
“The lightening?”  
“The one” I sight. “Once we were fighting in dojo after training over something stupid. He teased me about something and that’s when I lost it” I can’t look at her. Why am I even telling her this? “I hit him with my katana and… I broke part of his shell.” My eyes search for hers and I’m shocked to find them focused on my face with no judging look. “You’re not the only one that cannot trust yourself. We all don’t. At least not fully.”  
“You see, Leo” she starts after a few minutes of painful silence. I thought she would leave, unable to look at me for some time. She doesn’t disappoint to surprise me again. “What you did was an accidence, a moment of no control. In my life I did so many horrible things I was tough to not regret-“ I must stop her, before she let Shredder lies come too deep into her.  
“You had no control either” I justify her.  
“Then who had?” She almost hisses at me.  
“Shredder.”  
I officially hate everything Casey does. I hate how he looks at her, I hate how he talks to her, I hate how he sits next to her, I hate how he trust to put an arm around her, but I truly adore how she threatens to break his hand if he doesn’t stop.  
I look at Donnie and frown at his smirk.  
“What are you so happy about?” I whisper to him after my elbow collides with his stomach.  
“It’s just so beautiful” he sights. What the hell?!  
“Donnie? What’s so beautiful in this?” I silently yell at him what makes him wake up from his daydream. His gaze focuses on April and I know what he means. Casey doesn’t try anything with her now. I stand up and unnoticed walk to my room.   
While I lay on my bed I remember of Karai’s sword under my bed. Should I give it back to her? I know it’s hers, but she never asked me to return it. So now it belongs to me, doesn’t it?  
“Auuuu!” I hear Casey scream and a smirk forms on my lips.   
“Let’s go, guys!” I yell to my brothers, ready to go for a patrol. When we leave the lair Casey comes in with a plaster on his hand.   
“Dude, what happened to ya?” Raph asks him.   
“Karai” he sighs looking at the girl.  
“Hey, you asked for it!” she says in deafens.  
“I know sweetheart” he winks and I have to stop myself from puking.   
“Say that again and not only your hand will be broken” she warns him and I smirk in my mind. Isn’t she amazing?  
“Okay” April says reaching Karai. “I think it’s enough. What about a tea?” she offers and kunoichi’s face lights up.   
“Green, and if you value your life you won’t add any sugar” April just chuckle’s as they make their way to the kitchen.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10  
“ I can’t believe you broke his hand” April says and drinks some of her tea, she - of course - added some sugar and was almost killed by me.  
“I can’t believe you’ve never done it!” She chuckles, but I’m kinda being serious. “I mean he’s pain in the ass, so I get why he gets along with Raph-“  
“You’re awful!” She laughs.  
“Oh, really? I didn’t notice” I say sarcastically. “But I don’t understand how the rest of you last with him.”  
“Nah,… It’s a long story” she tries being mysterious.   
“Everyone can have secrets.”  
I walk silently into the dojo to find my father meditate. I stand next to him, not wanting to disturb him. It can wait.   
Actually silent helps me. But here everything seems to help, well except Casey.   
“What’s on your mind, Miwa?” I still find this name strange, but I slowly get used to it.   
“I… I’ve been wondering… if you could tell me more about her” I stutter and add quickly “I won’t run again.” He points at a place on a carpet, where I can sit.   
“I believe so” he comments and smiles at me. We face each other and I find myself having problems with speaking. I never have any problems with finding my voice. Well, shit! “What’s on your mind, my daughter?” he asks politely. I shake my head, not knowing how exactly I’m supposed to start.   
“I wondered if…” I look at the shelf with photos of my family. “If you could tell me something about her” that’s not a lie at all. “I mean, what was she like? What did she want to do? Where did she want to go?” When I start asking I can’t stop. And he answers all of them. He tells me why he moved to New York. Because she wanted this. He wanted the three of us to move there, so we could start everything from the begging. No fighting, no secrets, no ninjutsu. I actually frown at this one. I’ve never tried to imagine my life without trainings, meditations. That just wouldn’t be me. But then again, who am I?   
“She wanted you to have a normal life” he explains to me. I should have balls and ask before he told me that.   
“I understand why she didn’t want me to be a ninja, but… but that’s who I am. That’s all I have” I turn my face away from my father’s.   
The only thing worth to look at right know is that shining tree. It drove my attention the first time I was there and it does it now.   
“No. It might have been all you had” I shiver slightly, when he continues. “But now you have us.” My eyes meets his again and I say courageously   
“Father, I don’t know what mother would think of this, but I want to start training again. And I want you to be my sensei.” Surprisingly, he smiles and nods.  
“I knew you’d eventually ask that” he turns around and goes forward his room. Before he enters he looks back at me “We’ll start tomorrow.”  
Wow, wait! I need a new armor.   
“Where’s Donnie?” Those are first words that comes out of my mouth, after I find April in living room watching some anime with Casey.  
“Hi ba-“ Casey start, but I pull him by the hair and he squeaks in pain.  
“So?” April gaze moves from me to Casey and back to me.   
“He came back earlier from the patrol and went to his lab, why?”  
“Don’t be jealous, princess. I just need a favor” I wink at her and let go of Casey. “And if you try to give me any pet name once again I’ll break your second hand” I warn him and head to D’s place.  
I don’t know what I expected, but probably anything like this. I thought it would be a small and not much advanced lab, because hell first of all they don’t have money to afford the lab and second they’ve been living in severs for all their life. It seems impossible for this lab to be good and when I walk in it’s too good.   
“How?” I ask, as I thought, quietly but he manages to hear me anyway. Well, duh he’s a ninja.  
“Karai? What are you doing here?” before I answer his question I let my eyes scan the place. Lots of chemicals, some machines, parts of robots and more chemicals.   
“I came to ask for a favor” I say. There’s no way I say please and he knows that.   
“If Splinter’s telling you to go to school then no, I will not teach you here” he turns back to his experiment what’s so ever.   
“No” I say and come closer. “What is this?” His notes are one big mess. “Well, you might be the brain, but not the tidy one” I take his notebook, what makes him groan in annoyance. “Geez, what is this?”  
“Well, if you would actually study you’d have known it’s called chemistry.” I give him a look that says ‘really bitch?’.  
“Look, I passed secondary school-leaving examination when I was ten and I have lots of specializations which I made when I was thirteen or fourteen.”  
“Oh, so please tell me what’s syngas?”  
“Seriously? Syngas is an abbreviation for synthesis gas, which is a mixture comprising of carbon monoxide, carbon dioxide, and hydrogen. Something else?”  
“Yes” he says really amazed. “When can I marry you?” I chuckle at the question.  
“God, really? That’s all it takes to be wed to grate Donatello? Well, I think you should ask April that, but I’ll consider it.”  
“WHAT?! A-april, no-o. It’s… it’s n-not l-like” I shut him up by putting a hand on his mouth.  
“Stop stuttering. If you think no one noticed then you’re wrong, but I that’s not why I’m here, now am I?” he shakes his head.  
“Why are you here?”  
“As I’ve already said, I need a favor. Which is… I need a new armor.”  
“Okay, how am I supposed to help you with that?”  
“I was actually hoping that you would have some material and if not then I have some April’s shirts and my old armor. “  
“How do you want it to look like?” His question really takes me aback.   
“I did not think you’d agree that fast.”  
“How were you going to make me agree?”  
“I was going to threaten you or use April” he makes a terrified face and I quickly change the subject. “So, do you have any idea how to do this? And do you have any material?”  
“Only this” he says and walks up to his cupboard and takes out a navy blue peace of leather.   
“Perfect.”  
After working for more than three hours my armor is finally ready and me and Donnie are both almost sleeping on each other.   
“Good work, D” I yawn and find out his actually asleep. I put a blanket on him and walk out of the lab. Before I close the door I whisper a quick goodnight and leave.   
“Mikey?” Okay, what is wrong with them? It’s four in the morning, they’re back from patrol and he cooks.  
“Hi, sis? What’s up?” he faces me with a smile.   
“What are you doing here at this hour?”  
“Raph and Leo argued again on the patrol and we came back quite late and assumed you were all asleep and I couldn’t sleep so I decided to make some pancakes.” When he says that I stop being sleepy and begin to be hungry.  
“Pancakes? Save some for me. And what’s with Leo and Raph?”  
“Nah, nothing new. You know, Leo’s the leader, Raphy’s jealous and doesn’t follow orders. Same old story.”  
“Yeah… Where are they know?”  
I make my way fastly to the dojo. On my way there I notice Casey pass out on the floor and I begin to think of making some prank on him. But I shake that thought away. Later.  
When I almost reach my destination I can hear a sound of metal hitting metal and an argument. I see them fighting, but the view is not clear. I see Raph and Leo and seconds later I have a vision of two men fighting in the burning house. One of them seems to have claws.  
Guys look at me in shock and then I realize I screamed at the vison.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11  
Sometimes I wonder what being a leader means to my brothers. Mikey doesn’t probably care at all, D does what his told unless it comes to April, then he freaks out and to Raph? To Raph it means unfairness. He always thinks he would be a BETTER leader. He can’t even follow orders let alone give them.   
After Donnie and Mikey leaves it takes all my willpower not to fight with Raph. He keeps on commenting what I should do not to let foot soldiers get away.   
“If you followed my orders they wouldn’t have escaped!” I yell at him and jump into the sewers.   
“Maybe you should give us better order” he responds harshly. “We need action, Leo. Not your freaking thoughts!” I turn around and find myself wanting to hit him. I don’t.  
“Every leader has to make plans for an attack so any of his teammates gets hurt! But you’re not one and you’ll never will be, because you’re not thinking as one!”   
“I bet I could do a better leadership than you-“ I must interrupt him, but it probably makes things even worse.  
“Last time you tried Mikey almost got killed!” I growl and in a second realize what I just said. His anger shows itself as vapor comes out from his ears and fury burns in his eyes. I take my swords out, so does he and I whisper in a husky voice “Dojo.” He just follows.  
My muscles strained, sweat wets my forehead. My anger flies away, but Raph doesn’t seem to. Now, I only defend myself, but don’t fight back. He needs to get rid of a fury inside him and I let him. I stand my ground when he strikes at me and that’s when I hear a piercing scream.   
She stands there with her eyes wide open, blood ran from her face what makes her even more pale. Raph backs away. Her stare is cold and emotionless like she tries to understand what just happened., but after a while she shakes her head and says  
“Mikey made pancakes” she leaves quietly. I follow her and when we enter the living room I catch her arm in my hand and turn her around so she faces me.   
“Karai?” I don’t know why I make it sounds like a question. Maybe because I want to know what’s on her mind. I want to know what she thinks, how she feels. I want her to open up for once.   
“Don’t bother, Leo” she mumbles and looks at April and Casey asleep on the couch. “You’ll only wake them up.”  
I watch her walk away and with every step she takes I feel even more confused and empty.   
Kitchen smells like pancakes and I hear Mikey’s laugher. When I walk in she sits quietly and enjoys her green tea. Mikey tells her about the shows we used to watch, but she doesn’t even listen. She closes in herself in her own thoughts and I don’t even know why. And it pisses me off.   
“Hey guys!” Donnie walks into the kitchen and smells the air. “Mmm, pancakes! Why didn’t you wake me up earlier!” he takes a plate and putts some foods on it and sits next to Karai. He asks her something about sleeping, but because of Mikey’s stupid talk I can’t hear all of it.   
Soon they leave to D’s lab. And I just stand here, wandering what goes on.   
When we sit in on the mat and Sensei tells us what ninja stuff we’re about to do. I don’t listen to him though. My mind’s in other place. In Donnie’s lab with him and Karai inside. Why did they go there together? I thought Donnie likes April? Why would Karai- It’s all in my head until she comes in. Some hair falls on her face from ponytail and her navy blue, which is now my favorite shade of blue, catches her curves perfectly. Why the hell am I thinking about it now? But I can’t help, but stare at how beautiful she looks. Costumes cover almost the whole body of hers, leaving only a deep V-neck to show. Even her hands are in some kind of gloves that are sewed to the costume as well as… high heels? How does she want to fight in those?  
“So… What are we waiting for she says?” she asks with a cocky smile.   
We fight in combats. Me against Mikey, Raph against Karai, Donnie against April. Beating Mikey is not hard and I should probably just do it, but I keep watching her. How she moves, how her eyes shine, how she kicks Raph’s shell and stops training. Wait, what?  
“So that’s what you tough her?” she almost laughs at my I-I mean h-her I me-ean our father. “April come with me” she lives the room and shocked April follows her closely.  
It doesn’t take long for them to come back and the only thing that seems to change is April’s V-neck. Karai takes sit next to Raph on the mat and we continue our training and April beats Donnie in a second. I beat Mikey as the last one. Oh, I am so gonna get it.   
After Raph laughs at me for good ten minutes and Sensei rolls his eyes we are finally free to go and I can only think about embarrassing myself in front of Karai again. How many times have it already been?   
“C’mon Karai” Mikey screams euphorically. “I’ll teach you how to bake!” He caught her hand into his and drugs her into kitchen, deaf for her threatens.   
I don’t know when I fell asleep on the couch, but the most terrible smell wakes me up. It smells like something burnt and a huge cloud of smoke fills the room.   
“What the hell?” I mumble standing up. I don’t even bother to check the kitchen and head to my room. I’m about to open the door, when her voice comes from behind me.   
“Did they manage to get rid of the fire?” she asks curiously and cockily.   
“Fire?” I tell her when I turn around. She chuckles and passes me by, walking into my room.   
“You missed a lot.”  
“So, what happened?” I ask her when she sits on my bed. I know she doesn’t like yellow, but she looks pretty in it. I would tell her, but I don’t want to have my ass kicked.   
“Well, after Mikey drugged me to the kitchen he made me do the cake with some of his help. But I have a special talent of burning things. So when Mikey told me to take cake out of the oven it turned out it was burning from the inside. Soon whole cake burnt and I walked out to take a shower and get rid of the nasty smell and your brothers were supposed to get rid of the fire” she explains to me and I chuckle at how familiar it sounds. "It is probably the last time Mikey let me do anything in the kitchen” she adds laughing with me. She looks so happy. I wish I had a power of making her smile.   
“ Oh, you’re not that bad. Last time Raph tried to cook he end up having breast made of eggs” when I say that Karai lays down on my bed and laughs the hardest I’ve ever seen her. She usually has a smirk on her face, but here she lies in front of me truly happy.   
“I wish I could have seen that” she says between her laugher.  
“Well, we can always make it happen again.” Her eyes meets mine and they shine from excitement.  
“Would you dare to prank Raphael for me?” I would do anything for you. I want to say but I keep it to  
“Please, it’s just an excuse. I’ve wanted to see him like that again for a while now.”  
She walks around my room as we talk, laugh. I don’t notice her seeing my comics and I don’t have enough time to stop her from taking it.  
“Space heroes?” she asks and I scratch my neck nervously.  
“Yeah, I found it few years ago and um… I read it and it kinda… um… stayed with me” I lie and she can sense that.  
“You’re the most terrible liar I’ve ever met. And believe me the list is very long. Actually extremely long” she takes a sit next to me and opens one of the comics.  
“I used to watch series and read comics, when I was nine and came back to it when I was twelve” my eyes never moved so fast to meet someone’s face and I never worried I would stutter. At least not that much.  
“You me-ean, yo-ou w-watch Space h-heroes?” God, I’m sooo pathetic.  
“Yeah, it was good, old-school and Cap used to be my idol.” I’m even more in love with her.  
“I know right! He was sooo brave, great leader. He’s been my idol for ages!” I say excited that someone finally understands me. “I always try to be as good as him. You know to be a hero” I let myself daydream.  
“Well, I think you’ve been doing great job so far” she says and I smile at her and probably look like an idiot. “Actually you are already a hero.”  
“Huh?” I don’t understand what she tries to tell me until she continues. “You’re my hero.”  
I feel like something changed in the air, but no it’s not a smoke from the kitchen. It’s her presence. I feel like she lights me up. And I start feeling like I do the same to her.   
“Leo, about earlier in the dojo-“ I interrupt her quickly to explain myself.  
“I’m sorry you saw that” I tell her honestly. It’s been bothering me since then. “You shouldn’t have seen that.”  
“No, it’s not that. I shouldn’t have screamed. I know fights happens, it’s just…” maybe it’s my chance of getting something out of her.  
“Karai” I say as softly as I only can. “You know you can tell me everything, I’m your hero right?” I love that she said that I’m HER hero. She nods and her eyes falls on the floor.  
“I… Can I stay with you tonight?” She sounds so vulnerable, almost scared.  
We lye under the shivers not touching each other. I don’t have a freaking idea of what I should do. Do I put my arm around her? Do I ignore her presence? Thank God, she’s more confident than me. She lies her head on my chest and her finger draws something on me. I slowly put one of my arms around her, afraid of her reaction, but she seems to relax under my touch.   
“Before… When I saw you, I wasn’t afraid you would hurt each other. I was afraid, because I saw something. It was like a vision.”


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12  
His reaction is not what I expected, but I don’t really know what I thought I could get. He frowns when he hears what I saw and I become more afraid than I was. I won’t tell him that. I try to show him it doesn’t bother me, rather annoys. But he doesn’t seem to care right now. He’s in his own world, so it surprises me when he asks  
“Why did you tell me that and not sensei?”  
“Maybe because I’m not sure if I wanted to hear an answer he would give me.”  
I don’t know when I fell asleep, but I had no nightmares and am actually comfortable on Leo’s shell. Honestly, I’m too comfy to open my eyes and I let out a small growl when I hear door opens.   
“Hey, Leo we can’t find Ka-“ I hear Donnie’s voice behind me. I sit on Leo’s bed, taking myself away from his warm body.   
“It’s not what i-it looks l-like Donnie” Leo tries to explain us, which almost makes me laugh. He’s so adorable sometimes.   
“Why aren’t you with April by the way?” I change subject quickly and I notice with the corner of my eye Leo sights in relief. D tries to form a sentence, but it doesn’t go well. I shake my head and stand up.  
“Don’t you worry, D. I’m in my pajamas, now go tell Mikey to make some tea and better get things done with princess, before I change” I walk toward him and stop just before I the door frame. “Understood?” he nods rapidly and I smirk. Just as I am about to leave I turn around and say “thanks for the night, hero” after I leave I hear Donnie asks – Hero?  
Sometimes I really miss my cosmetics. April’s are too dark for me and black eyeliner is too casual. At least she bought me red lipstick. I put my hair in high ponytail and let some of them fall on either sides of my face. I would say I look stylish, but this freaking yellow top destroys everything. I sigh and wash my hands in hot water. Steam flies in the air and in front of my eyes appears an imagine of a smoke. A smoke I would never forget. I think no matter what I’ll do something will always remind me of what happened. Even evaporating water. I still remember how I breathed it . How it tasted. How it chocked me I puked a few times. How tarts it was. My vision of the event isn’t clear and full. I don’t remember much. Actually I remember smoke, pain… and his laugher.  
Walking down the living room I expected everything but Mikey running at me.   
“Karai, c’mon the movie is about to start!” he catches my hand in his and drugs me to the couch.  
“What movie?” I ask after I am finally able to sitt.   
“Hotel Transylvania” he says and I smile.  
“Is it a horror?” I say euphorically. My happiness is disturbed by deep voice behind me.   
“No, it’s a film for kids” I turn around to see Leo walking toward me with a dish. When he sits next to me he handles it to me. “Pancakes?”   
“Yeah” I say before thank you slips out of my mouth. Maybe one day some of my habits will change. Maybe. “So… What is it about?” I ask and bite one of pancakes.  
My childhood wasn’t normal. Other kids were playing, having fun, making friends. I have some in Japan, but we weren’t like other kids. We never knew life of normal kids. Our lives were all about training. You may think in Japan there’s no ninja clan anymore. You’re wrong. They’re plenty of them, but as ninjas they hide in the shadow. We did too. After I bounded with some children around my age Shredder sent me for a year to mountains for a training. I couldn’t contact anyone and some of them quickly forgot about me. Only few didn’t.   
As I said my childhood wasn’t normal and maybe by showing me a movie for kids Mikey wanted to give me a part of normality. Or maybe he’s just Mikey. A big child that doesn’t want to watch a film alone. Yeah, that must be it.   
Movie’s almost over, which I’m not as glad about as I thought I would be. In the end there’s a song about zing which, if I understood well, means crush. Mikey stands up and starts dancing and I find myself lightly laughing at him.  
Until he catches my hands and makes me dance with him. At first I try to make him let me go, but after a while I realize it’s useless and give into it. My body moves in the rhythm of the short song. I let Mikey spin me around and then I fall on the couch, trying to stop giggling and take a breath.  
“What’s going on?” I hear Raph’s voice. I didn’t even notice him at first.   
“We just ended watching a movie” Leo explains to him and a great idea comes into my mind.   
“Yeah, we did and we’re about to watch a next one” I say with a smirk.  
“Are you?”  
“Are we?” three brothers asks in the same time.   
“Yep” I answer and look through CDs for something they won’t forget.  
They don’t have much horrors and what I found is actually more entertaining than scary. At least for me. Mikey ran away after five minutes, Leo tries to keep it cool and Raph… well, let’s just say if watching this film isn’t funny then watching him definitely is. He put his knees up to his chest and whispers to himself don’t go in there. What’s funny for me in horrors. Literally every scene like this, when everyone scream don’t go in here and then character gets killed. It appears in almost every horror and for me is idiotically. You know they’ll die, but what’s better than this knowledge? That you know Raph we’ll scream like a little girl in 3, 2, 1  
“Aaaaaaaaaaaghh” he squeaks. And it takes all my willpower not to roll of couch and laugh my hardest at him. It doesn’t mean I don’t make fun of him. I do it probably too loud, but look at least like a normal, laughing teenager. What surprises me Leo’s not terrified either. He enjoys laughing at his brother as much as I do. What’s weird he’s gaze is still on me and never on Raph. “Nah, it’s stupid” hot head says and leaves, before I can even insult him.   
“I didn’t even have time to say anything” I confess, what makes Leo chuckle.   
“You’ll have more occasions to insult him. Probably something will happen in an hour or so.”  
“I’m looking forward to it” I giggle second time today. What’s wrong with me? I didn’t even know I could make that kind of a noise. “So… what about tea?” I ask him.  
“Yeah sure” he says standing up.  
“Great, make some for me too” I smirk and lye on the couch relaxing. He only rolls his eyes at me and leaves.   
“Hi” I hear April’s voice and sit. “What happened to Raph? He ignored me and kept on punching a bag and muttering something to himself about not being scary…?” I shake my head with a smile.   
“Just sit, princess” I tell her everything that happened today and she doesn’t want to believe in Raphael’s reaction.  
“I thought he was only scared of cockroaches” she chuckles and I’m angry at her for not saying this earlier.  
“Did you really keep that a secret? I would have done so much more if I only knew his fears!” I snort. She tries to justify herself , when her phone rings and she quickly answers it after murmuring sorry. Like I care.   
It’s probably someone from her school, because she tries to explain what they did today and then it hits me. I haven’t contact anyone after I got mutated. I used to call some people in Japan before I learnt that Splinter was my father. How much time have past? Especially one person scares me. I am so dead.   
“No prob, really” April’s talk brings me back to reality. “Okay, bye” she ends the call and I almost yank it out of her hand.  
“I need to borrow your phone” I say and she frowns.  
“What for?” God, really?!  
“And what are phones for, dumbass? I need to call someone.” She frustrates me with her dumbness.   
“Yeah, I know what they’re for. I meant who do you want to call?”  
“What is it? A confession?” I put my hands up. “I just need to call someone O’Neal. Not a big deal!” She makes a stubborn ace and I’m done fighting with her.   
“Fine” I stand up and walk away.  
“Wait, where are you going?” she screams after me, but I ignore her and go to find the only person that can help me.  
“Hey, what’s u-“ Donnie says when I enter his lab, but I’m in big rush. I lost too many time to waste it for some hi.  
“I need your phone” it takes him aaback and he needs few seconds to translate the message.  
“You need to call someone?”  
“Immediately.”  
“Who, if I may ask?”   
“You may not, now give me your phone” I try to take it from him but he moves his hand with it away.   
“Who do you need to call?” he asks again, but I can’t even scold him about this, because princess runs inside.  
“Donnie don’t give her the… oh, you didn’t give her the phone” she gasps.  
“First of all, work on your condition and second why do you care who do I need to call?” I asks furious. Before they can answer me someone’s walks in again.  
“Tea’s ready.” Perfect, there is no way Leo is going to say no to me.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13  
With every second I get more and more confused. Looks they give me are kind of terrifying.  
“Leo, I need yo-“ Karai starts , but before I can learn what goes on April and Donnie interrupt her.  
“Don’t you dare, Leonardo” I shake my head to collect my thoughts.   
“Can someone, please, tell me what is going on?” I ask. Karai steps forward and puts her hands on her hips.  
“I need to borrow your phone, not a big deal” she says and my hand automatically travels to my belt, where my phone is.  
“Yeah, sure” I want to give her a phone when Donnie with April steps in-between us.   
“Aren’t you at least gonna ask her who she wants to call?” He almost shouts at me. Maybe, just maybe, he has a point.  
“Who do you want to call?” I ask and she immediately throws her hands in the air.  
“Seriously, Leo? Are you going to do everything he tells you to? Why do you even care?” God, I’m getting tired of this. And she has a point, it’s not my business.   
“Yeah, sorry” I hand her my t-phone. “Here you are.”  
“Aren’t you at least gonna ask her if this someone she wants to call isn’t involve with the foot?” I… didn’t think of it.   
“Karai-“ I start but she’s done with this stupid situation.   
“Yes!” she scream. “Why does it matter? I’m not stupid, okay? I know the risk, but I know her and she would never speak to anyone of this! I don’t even know if she would want to talk to me after few months of silence. If you haven’t noticed I have some friends which worries about me and they should know the truth” I’m shock at her statement and the second words leaves her mouth she storms out of the room. I know she thinks she said too much, but at least now I know something. Not much but with her it’s actually a lot.   
“Karai, wait” I run after her, not carrying about what Don and Ap has to say. She stops on her way to living room.  
“What?” she says clearly annoyed. How can I feel bad and good at the same time? I feel good, because she opened up a little and I feel bad, because I made her do it.   
“Here” I handle her my phone. She looks with shocked at me and frowns. “Sorry, I should just give it to you. We trust you, Karai. We just don’t trust the foot.”  
“Don’t worry” she smiles. “She’s not a Shredder fan, either” she takes my phone and walks to the other side of the room. I want to know what she meant by that. At least she said she, so she’s not calling her boyfriend and probably doesn’t have one, because she would call him first right? I mean… Again I shake my head and leave to find already cold tea in the kitchen.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14  
C’mon, Miyako (beautiful kid of night), answer the phone. I wait patiently and try not to think about anything bad happening to her. I swear if she’s not okay I will…   
“Sorry, the number doesn’t exist” shit. I hung up and walk to the kitchen to find Leo, making tea.   
“Haven’t you already made it?” I ask and smirk when he jumps a little, then turning his head in my direction.   
“It was cold when I came here, so I decided to make it again. You want some?” I take a sit and put my hands on the table barely listening to Leo.   
“Yeah” I whisper. I can feel his eyes scan me, but he doesn’t say a word. I stay silent until he puts a cup with evaporating tea.   
“How is your friend?” I never called her that, but it was quiet obvious who she was to me. Sometimes I would even think of her as a sister, but I didn’t want to look weak in front of her, because she was weak. I was the strong one, always by her side, always protecting her. Until I left.   
“We didn’t talk” I say and handle Leo his phone. “She must have change her number” I say, but I feel like someone was talking instead of me. I don’t recognize my voice at all.   
“I’m sorry” he says but I don’t react. I stare at the drink with too many thoughts in my head. Her number was the only one I remembered. Rest is on my phone in- Why didn’t I think of that before?   
“You don’t have to be” I smile genuinely “but I’ll need your help” I stand up and start walking right into dojo. I know he follows.   
“No” I expected it, but I hoped it wouldn’t happen. Now I have to actually tell him why it’s so important for me, otherwise I might never see Miyako again.   
“Father I-“ I never would have said he was more stubborn than Shredder, but he is.   
“I am not letting you go outside, Miwa” his voice is steady and I know it will be hard to convince him to let me go. “Not while all his soldiers are looking for you.”  
“Maybe me and guys can go to your flat , while we’re at patrol” Leo breaks his long silence. I must say I appreciate he came to talk to my father with me and he wills to help, but they can’t go there.  
“That’s not going to happen” he gives me a weird look. “The building is very secured. Not many people went in uninvited, but none of them ever came out. One night I walked through a window to my bedroom and guards walked into my apartment seconds later. Thankfully they knew I was the owner and they didn’t make a big problem” I explain. “I should go there alone and in the day light” I do everything to convince father but at the same time I understand why he’s afraid. I’m scared myself. Shredder raised me after all. I know he won’t stop until he gets me back on his side and get his revenge. But I have to go I owe Miyako more than my life. She has to know that I’m alive. “Shredder’s soldiers patrol only at night. Also I can dress up so no one recognize me” I will do everything to go. Even if I had to sneak out.   
“Why do you desire to contact her so much?” Father studies my expression and I know I have no other choice but tell him the truth. “Won’t she contact Shredder and tell him everything you want to say to her?”  
“No, she won’t. She hates Shredder, unlike her father, but she won’t tell anybody about this if I manage to contact her.”  
“And who is her father?”  
“Fuku Arashi”


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15  
Sensei’s reaction to this name is something hard to describe. The grimace on his face makes him look happy, but worried at the same time.   
“I recognize that name” he says to us, but it feels like he tells it to himself. Can someone please tell me what is going on? Who are they talking about? Why the hell nobody tells me anything? “He used to come to my village and train in my father’s dojo” he smiles at the memory. “ We were close, but what he and Saki had was something like a bond.”  
“They’re still close friends, that’s why Miyako doesn’t get on well with him. She has her reason to hate Shredder, but her relationship with Arashi…” Karai hesitates for the moment. She tries to tell us as less as she can, but she knows she actually has to say something. “Is very complicated.”  
“How is Ayane? I remember Ashiri was very… possessive of her.”  
“She… She died few weeks after she gave birth to Miyako. I don’t even remember her, I was two when that happened” she looks at her hands. I can tell she’s in pain. She’s not sad because Ayane is dead, but because her best friend has to go through the same pain she does every day. Splinter walks toward her and puts an arm on her shoulder. She needs as much warm and support as she can only get.   
“Take April with you and dress up so no one will recognize you” she’s shocked and happy. Her smile is so beautiful. Her eyes shine so bright like stars. She’s excited. She’s almost truly happy. She will be when she contacts Miyako. Whoever she is.   
Karai leaves but I can’t follow her. I’m done with those secrets. I need to know who those people are.   
“What troubles you my son?” His voice is full of concern as his eyes scan me. He expected me to go. I won’t leave though. Not until he explains at least some of it.  
“Who’s Ayane? And Ashari? Why did you let her go? It’s dangerous! She might get hurt, cought-“ I keep going until he stops with his hand and voice.   
“Leonardo, please calm down” Why? And why are you so calm? You’re letting your daughter go and we just got her back! I got her back! “I trust Karai to be carefull, that’s why I’m letting her go. Also, I don’t want her to sneak out again. It would put her in even bigger danger” I shake my head in disbelieve. That’s not good enough. “She won’t be alone my son. April will go with her and she’ll dress up. No one from the foot will be able to recognize her.” He must see the doubt on my face, because he puts his hand on my arm, which makes me look at him. “I know you care about her, my son.” I. And. Know. And. Care. Wait, how does he know? I thought that few months ago I persuaded him that I’m not in love with Karai. “But we can’t lock her up here. As long as it’s safe for her to go she should. You know how much she’s been through. She’s tough and she can take care of herself.”  
“That doesn’t make it feel better” he nods in understanding. He trusts her, so should I. “If I may ask, Sensei… Who’s Ayane and Arashi?” his expression is hard to read. It’s something between pain, sadness and something I can’t name.   
“Those my son… were my friends.”  
“Arashi used to visit my village and train with me and Saki. Every year they were growing closer. Shredder always was full of anger, wanted to rule. Arashi became his soldier. Their friendship started to be unhealthy. If Shredder said jump he asked-“  
“How high…” I whisper and get a nod from Splinter.   
“It changed a little after Tang Shen and Ayane came to our village. Shredder and I fell for Shen and he did for Ayane. He loved her so much and when she asked him to move to other side of Japan he packed his stuff and left with her the next day” I remember while we were in the past Tang Shen asked Sensei to leave ninjutsu and move to New York to start new life here. Sometimes I wonder if he regrets his decision.   
Father doesn’t look at me. We’re both deep in our thoughts and I don’t dare to even ask him anything. I doubt I want answers anymore. I doubt he’d answer with something that would make me happy, no matter what he’d say.   
“Probably after her death he joined foot clan along with his daughter” he thinks loudly stroking his beard. I only nod, because he answered all I asked him, but was it really what I wanted to know?  
I don’t even make it out of the dojo when I hear April scream. “THAT’S AMAZING!” she yells and I know she already knows. I walk inside a living room and she sits with Karai on a couch and she jabbers about what they can do together outside the liar. “I’ll take you to shopping center so you can buy yourself some clothes so I won’t hear how my clothes are ugly anymore” she doesn’t sound mad, but excited. “And we will go to the movies. One of Marvel’s movies out and I’d do everything to see it. And we’ll go to eat some normal food-“ that seems to get Karai’s attention.  
“No pizza?” she asks unbelievingly.  
“No pizza” April confirms.  
“FINNALY” What’s wrong with pizza? “Nothing, Leo. But I’m not used to eat it every day and I refuse to be.” I didn’t even realize I asked them out loud.   
“So you plan on taking April with you” I say and Aps vigorously nods.   
“Well, I won’t waste the fact I’m able to walk out so I plan to go and act like a normal teenager.”  
“And you don’t want Sensei to know that” I summarize.   
“Don’t make me plead you.”


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16  
April’s POV  
Do they do that on purpose or do they really not see I’m here, too? I stand up living Karai with Leo and head to kitchen. I can tell whatever I want about Pizza, but it is delicious, especially Gioza from Mr. Murakami.   
When I walk inside the kitchen I don’t whether to laugh or face palm myself. Raph beats Mikey up, while Casey tries to steal some Giozas from his plate.   
“Please tell me you left some for me” they eyes rapidly find me in a pure shock.   
“Um, Red…” Casey scratches his neck with a left hand. “I-I’m sure Mikey’d love to share some of his with ya.”  
“Hey, no fair, Case’” little buddy scolds him. I shake my head at sight of them fighting over a stupid pizza.  
I turn around and find myself almost bumping into… Donnie. “What’s up, April?” I like that he doesn’t stutter while talking to me anymore. However, it was really cute.   
“Nah…, I just tried to get something to eat, but guys took care of my portion” I shrug.   
“I have some pizza left in my lab if you want” he offers stepping aside making me space to leave the kitchen and go straight to his lab.   
“Thanks, D” I warmly smile at him.  
His lab is… messy. Files are everywhere and I mean EVERYWHERE. A bulb in an old lamp is barely giving any light.   
“Ummm… Sorry for the mess. I didn’t have much time for cleaning lately” he scratches his neck, but stops when he catches my eyes on him. “Here’s your pizza” he takes a plate, I didn’t notice before, with three slices on it and gives it to me.   
“Thanks” I say taking it and bite one of the slices. “What have you been working on?”  
“Well, I’ve been trying to improve a helmet I did in the farmhouse for you to so we could learn more about your powers, but I think I’m stuck… again.” I don’t like seeing him worried. What’s more he’s worried over something so stupid.   
“It’s alright, D. I know you’re trying” I give him my warmest smile. “Don’t worry about it. I wouldn’t even think of learning how to use my powers and because of you I already have. I know whatever it is that got you stuck you’ll solve it soon.” When he smiles at me I know I cheered him up and that’s all I want. Donnie likes to overthink things, likes to worry and for it I like him, but hate it in him. He just doesn’t see how much he’s already done.   
“It’s just that… I’ve always locked myself in a lab, even when we were children” I nod giving him a signal I’m fully focused on what he says. “I mean I trained with guys and we watched cartoons together, but when they were messing around with each other I locked myself here and were studying something or creating stuff. They grew closer and I got more distant” it hurts to hear this, especially when I know how emotional he is, but no matter how much I want to interrupt him I let him finish. Because that’s what he needs. “You can see how Raph’s close to Leo and Mikey. He bullies them most of the time but that’s what he does. And Leo how he cares about everyone how he cares for Mikey and looks after Raph. And I just lock myself here with all those experiments that doesn’t work and feel like an outsider.”  
“You’re not an outsider , Donnie” I don’t care if he’s finished or not. All I know is I get started. “No matter how bad you feel for your helmet not working it doesn’t matter. You guys are brothers, you have a bond that makes you stronger and it’s not only between Leo and Rap or Mikey and Raph, but all four of you share it. You’re always there to protect each other. So stop acting like you mean nothing because it’s a bullshit. You’re a part of this time and you’re as important as any of us” I say and inhale just after the end of my speech. I didn’t realize I need that much of oxygen.   
“Thank you, April” I can see in his eyes how much it means for him. Before I can help myself I put my arm around D’s neck and bring him closer to me, catching him in a balmy hug.   
His arms wrap around my waist seconds later.   
“I should go” I whisper not really wanting to part from him. But he lets me go. “I have to find some clothes for Karai for tomorrow.”  
“What’s tomorrow?” he asks. Oh, he doesn’t know. Well, how is he supposed to know if I didn’t tell him?  
“Karai and I are going outside together” I shrug.   
“Does sensei know about this?” When I tell him yes he raises an eyebrow.   
“Well, at least that’s what she said, but Leo didn’t deny it, so I believe her” I explain.   
“You talked with both of them?”  
“I… I tried. Karai and I were discussing our plans for tomorrow when Leo came. You should have seen it, the second he appeared I disappeared.”  
“Really?” he asks in disbelieve. Nah, I wouldn’t lie to you.  
“Yes, and I knew that Leo was into her, but gosh you should’ve seen the way they look at each other and they didn’t even realize it! I mean how can you look at somebody and not realize you’re in love with them” I jabber. “Or that they’re in love with you.”  
He frowns at my statement and I wonder if I said something wrong. “Sometimes we’re caught up in to many things to see what’s in front of us” he whispers.  
I study his words for a while before I leave.   
“Hi dad!” I yell walking inside our apartment. After an attack on New York my dad bought us a new flat mostly because The Foot knew where our last was.   
I go inside my room and seek for something un-Karai-like .   
It’s hard to focus when a voice whispers something in your head. Like Sometimes we’re caught up in to many things to see what’s in front of us. Or something like an answer but in a language you don’t know.   
Focus, April! I remind myself of my task.  
I take out a black top – Where do I have it from? - in it she will be recognizable. Green shirt? – Will be too small… Blue skirt – too big. 

Nah, I need a break. Nothing seems to be good for tomorrow. I’m about to close my closet when a piece of clothing catches my eyes. She’s gonna hate it, but… it’s perfect.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17  
Part 1  
“I hate how there’s nothing good at TV nowadays. Just look at movies that were made twenty years ago. They had action, amazing plots and now all you get is a nuclear bomb that’s going to destroy the world. And either main characters dies or survives and get a sequel with the exact same story” I try not to sound frustrated, but I can’t help it. There are few subjects I get emotional about.  
“ I know right! Just look at the series that were made in 80th” he says excited.  
“You mean space heroes” I giggle and cover my mouth with my hand. I never liked how my teeth got visible when I smile or laugh.   
“Hey, you like it, too!” he says in defense. I shake my head slightly.  
“I never said I didn’t” I smile. “Where is April?” I ask when I see her place is empty.  
“She must have left” he assumes and I stop myself from You don’t say Sherlock. Instaed of that I say  
“Well, for ninjas we’re hella perceptive” I chuckle.   
While Leo makes tea I wonder where April would go. The answer seems so obvious but when I get to D’s lab she’s not there.  
He’s focused on metal helmet, working on some wires. He doesn’t hear me come inside so I stand behind him and tickle him under armpits.   
He jumps immediately .   
“I think current hit you” I chuckle.  
“Very funny” he turns around to face me. “What’s up?”  
“Actually I’m looking for April” I answer. “You know where she might be?”  
“She went home about an hour ago” I raise an eyebrow. “For ninjas you and Leo are very –“  
“Perceptive” I interrupt him. “Yeah, we know” I move to the desk and look at his project. “What is that?” I point at the helmet.  
“It’s… nothing really. I’ve been trying to make it work since the farmhouse, but I… I’m stuck” he sights.  
“Okay, but I still don’t know what it’s supposed to do” I remind him.   
“I wanted to help April with…” he searches for good words. “her special abilities, but it only made her see with big mutated-bird eyes-“  
“Wait, what?” What the hell? I didn’t hear such a story?! Why?!  
So he explains how helmet fucked up its job and made April blind. And how since then he tries to make it work the way it should.  
“Maybe you can’t” I suggest. He gives me an asking look. “I mean, maybe it’s not supposed to work. I know you want to help April, but as long as you have no idea you should come with me, have a tea and go to sleep. Because, Donatello, sometimes when we really want something to work it doesn’t and it won’t until we give it a rest. You have to clear your mind and focus it on something else. If the helmet’s supposed to work then eventually an idea will come to your head” I finish my monolog, impressed with myself.   
Donnie crosses his arms on his chest, frowns and ask “What kind of tea?”  
“This is the worst green tea I have ever drunk!” D almost expectorates his drink and makes a disgust face with his tongue outside of his mouth.   
Leo frowns offended.   
“Why?” I ask. “For me it’s pretty good, although I would give Manuka honey instead of normal honey. Actually I can buy some tomorrow” Leo smiles at the idea, but before he can say anything his brother speaks  
“You added honey to a green tea?!” he yells. “What the hell is wrong with you?!”  
“What do you mean? The tea’s great” Leo defends. I watch them argue but not interference. It’s fun seeing them fight over a stupid tea.   
“What are you laughing at?” I hear a voice behind me. Raphael.   
I didn’t have a chance to talk to him yet. I wasn’t even looking forward to it. How could I? I still get a feeling he’s against me being here. I don’t blame him though. After what I did he has every right to hate me and avoid me. It was easier that way. But easy is boring.  
“Just look at them” I point at Leo and Donnie with my chin. “They’re arguing over tea.”  
“Welcome at Hamato’s. Here we argue about mission plans, leadership and food” he sits next to me. “But about tea? It’s the first time.”  
“Here” I handle him my cup. He gives me a question look and takes a sip.   
Almost immediately he coughs the drink on the table and gets his brothers attention. “Oh my God, and you dare to call that shit tea?”  
“Oh my God” I whisper when Raph joins the argument. I grab my cup and quietly leave before I can get myself involved.   
While I go to my room I bump into Mikey and almost pour out my precious tea.   
“What’s going on there?” he points at the kitchen.  
“Nah, arguing I thought it was nothing new…” I shrug and take a sip.   
“Over what?”  
“Over tea” he raises an eyebrow, which looks weird because he doesn’t have eyebrows just a space without hair. “Go see by yourself” I start walking to my room again.   
Mikey stands here for a little longer before joining the conversation he has no idea about. But that’s Mikey. He’s everywhere knowing nothing.  
I put the cup on and lie down on the bed. From there I can see that the room needs some decorations. Some posters maybe as I was never a fan of the flower or more fake flowers. Maybe tomorrow I’ll have a chance to take something from my old apartment or at least buy something in the city. I might also take some books, DVD’s or CD’s. Might I get a chance to take April shopping and make her buy something bearable to wear or look at, because if I see one more yellow shirt I will break something. Also I might find something for guys. I was never good at buying presents but it’s New York and I can buy anything here.  
I raise my hand and grab the cap in my hand. I take a sip of a liquid but it’s already cold. I wonder how much time I’ve spend just lying there.   
With a sight I put the cup away. My eyes are sticky and before I can go to the bathroom to change into my pajamas they close. I don’t even fight the darkness that takes over me when I roll onto my side.  
I walk through a corridors with black-painted walls. There’s not much light and I can feel something’s in the air. I’ve know this place for three years now and no one ever tried to add more lamps and make the place less scary.   
The closer I get to his office the worse feeling I get. I stop the shiver that wants to run through mine spine when I reach the door. Their thick, made of steel so no sound escapes and no one without permission gets inside.   
On the wall is a small computer where I put my hand. It’s scanned and I’m led into the room.   
I try not to faint when I see whose inside.   
“KARAI” I hear someone says my name. The voice is carrying and full of worry. It doesn’t belong to anyone here. Here everyone seems to… just stop. They don’t move, speak. They just emptily stare at me. “KARAI” I hear it again and a view in front of me fades away.  
I try to open my eyes but a light shines too bright and makes it incredibly hard.   
“Karai?” His gaze is focused on me. His one hand is on my cheek and other on my arm.  
“Leo?” I sit on the bed while my eyes gets used to the light. “What are you doing here?”  
“I heard you scream” he whispers. “I came to see if you were alright, but you were still asleep rumbling something under your breath. I couldn’t understand it and when you screamed again I woke you up” we stay in silence and I’m afraid of him asking me anything. “You have them every night, don’t you?” I look away because he doesn’t need me to say it. He already knows the answer. Thankfully, he doesn’t know those nightmares are scars from my past I carry inside. I don’t infect others with my problems. I don’t want pity that Leo’s trying to give me. “Tell me what they’re about” he thinks its so easy to confess the darkest parts of you. Maybe for him yeah but no matter what he’s been through I don’t want to add him more shit he can’t handle.   
I was learnt to hide my emotions and that’s what I intend on doing. “You should go” I say standing up. I walk away from bed to lean against a wall. I don’t watch him coming closer to me, but I just want him to leave.   
“Karai you can’t avoid it forever” he grabs my shoulder, making me look at him. “It’s easier to solve a problem when you’re not the only one who carries it-“ I quickly interrupt him before he gets to me.  
“I don’t wanna talk about this” I try not to yell but I don’t need anyone to dig into my problems so I want him to back away before I say something I’ll regret.   
“No, Karai. It’s about time you stop hiding behind a mask and open up. I care about you and-“  
“If you would care about me you would give me time and space that I need!”  
“You don’t want space! You want to hide but that won’t solve any of your problems” I know he’s right, but I can’t tell him because I don’t want him to look at me like I’m a fragile, porcelain doll that can get damage any time. Maybe I already am damaged…  
“Exactly, Leo, they are my problems and I get to solve them the way I want. Your rumbling is not a method I’ll use!”  
“Karai after all we’ve been through don’t you think I deserve to know?” he wants me to feel guilty, but I am the kunoichi. I’m the one that was taught how to fool with someone’s emotions.  
“We’ve been through” I wave a hand in space between us. “Your mom didn’t get killed” I explode. “You weren’t kidnaped and raised by a monster who killed her and made you believe your true father was the one to blame, you weren’t mutated for almost a year, losing your mind, afraid to come home because you knew if you would kill households, you weren’t brained washed and told to hurt everybody who tried to help you! You know nothing, Leo, so stop fucking acting like you do” I have to inhale few times before I can think clearly again. And when I can I know the words I said were too much. And they weren’t truth at all.  
He doesn’t have a mother. He was raised in the sewers unable to come out because he would be called a monster even though he’s heart is pure heart like no human have. He doubts himself and is doubted by his brothers as a leader. He was in coma for three months and when he awoke he heard his father is probably dead.   
I put a hand over my mouth as he looks at his feet ashamed. I should be ashamed.  
“Leo” I whisper but he just turns around and does as I asked him to. He leaves without looking behind.  
Leo shuts the door behind him and I just stare at it. There’s no point in going after him because I don’t even have anything to say.   
But maybe I should.   
It’s easier to solve a problem when you’re not the only one who carries it He said and I think he’s right, but he doesn’t need any more of my shit. He’s already helped me enough. after all we’ve been through…  
I shake my head when I rethink my decision. He will understand, Karai. I tell myself. He’s your father, he will understand.   
I find myself in front of entrance and stop immediately. I can’t wait ‘till morning comes because guys will be up and will sense something’s wrong or won’t let me talk to sensei or April will come before I get a chance to talk with him or-   
He stands in front of me, frowning. “Is something wrong, my daughter?” he strokes his beard while he studies me.   
“I… I didn’t mean to wake you up, father” I don’t even know if I did, but… “but I have a problem I can’t keep a secret anymore.” He moves and with a movement of his hand he invites me inside.   
When I wake up in the morning I can smell pancakes and a smile forms on my face. It only grows when I don’t feel any sweat on my forehead and I realize that for the rest of the night after talking to Splinter I haven’t had any nightmares. I feel so liberated, free and… And Leo look at his feet ashamed after I screamed at him. guilty.   
I try to shake it off. He came here and tried to dig into my past. He asked for what he got. But he also helped me. I scream inside because no matter what arguments I have against Leo I know what I did was too much.   
I open a wardrobe and grab first things I see. April’s going to bring me some new clothes any way. April… omg, today I’ll contact Miyako… won’t talk to her but she’s going to know I’m alive. Oh, Jeez it’s good I will just send a message and won’t talk to her because she’d somehow manage to kill me through the phone. I’m sure of it.  
I don’t try to hide a smile that forms on my lips. I wish Miyako was here, but then she’d have more problems than she already has. She doesn’t need kraang, Foot or more of my secrets. She’s safe in Tokyo. At least I hope so.   
When I leave my room the smell of cinnamon rolls and tea hits me. I close my eyes and sigh.   
“I see you slept well” I jump at the voice behind me. Father stands there with a smile, stroking his beard.   
“Yes, it was very… relieving.”  
“I’m happy I could be of a help then. If you need to talk about something else…”  
“I know the way, I… yhm…” I thought it would be easier. He’s my father, he suffered so much because of me and helped me so much. And still I can’t find it in myself to thank him.  
“You’re welcome” I’m cheerful. Finally I’m with my father, my family. And it’s so different of what I used to think of a word father. Splinter is there for me, ready to listen when I want to talk, embrace me when I need it, speak when I’m ready for a lecture.  
“Hey Karai, Sensei” Donnie approaches us. “What smells so frantically delicious?”   
“I think it’s cinnamon roll” I say and Donnie’s eyes almost fall out of its orbits.  
“He can do them?”  
I sit between Mikey and Donnie, while cinnamon roll melts inside my mouth. “Mmm…” gets out of my mouth and D nods vigorously.   
“I couldn’t agree more.” Mikey grins at us.   
“Where are Raph and Leo?” I frown. Leo might be avoiding me, but with Raph I dunno.   
“Someone asked for me?” Raph walks in. “What on earth smells so good?” Mikey never looked so proud as now, when Raph complements his work. Well, as far as I know he rarely complements anything so it is really a good reason for Mikey to celebrate.   
Finally Leo joins us taking sit next to Raph’s. We avoid each other gaze which no one notices but Donnie.  
“Is everything okay?” he pokes my arm.   
“Yeah” I nod taking a bite of my roll. “Everything’s great” I look up at him and notice his eyes don’t have black circus underneath. “I see you finally and actually had some sleep.”  
“Yeah, I took your advice and now I feel fresh and ready to work” he smiles.  
“I think you should take my other advice now” he gives me a questioning look. “Don’t work today and spent some time with your brothers” before he can refuse April walks to the kitchen and smirks at me.   
“Who’s ready for some action?” She says in a theatrical voice. “Uuu, cinnamon rolls.”  
We all leave to living room when April ends eating amount of rolls (don’t blame her thought they’re amazing!) to see what she brought for me to wear. I await some shorts and normal t-shirt, but this is the worst scenario ever. It’s a pink dress.   
“No, there’s no way I’m wearing that!” I yell standing up. She walks toward me and I take a step back.   
“Oh, come on, Karai, no one will recognize you in it. And it’s scorching-hot outside so the dress is perfect” she might be right. In foot no one would say it’s me if I wear it. And if it’s really that hot then the material is perfect. The dress is light, without any straps, decollate, on top it’s skin-tight, from waist it hangs loosely and ends just above knees.   
There’s no way I’m wearing it.   
“April, no” I say stepping back.  
“Karai, yes” she nods and follows me. The faster I go the nearer she is. Eventually I decide to do something really stupid. I run. “Karai!” April shouts going after me. “Come here right now!”  
I laugh at her and run even faster “First you have to catch me” I yell and turn to D’s lab.  
I stand behind one of the tables to catch a breath. April soon joins me on the other side. She pants heavily leaning against a lab table.  
“Give up already, princess?” I raise an eyebrow.  
“You wish”  
“Hide me” is the first thing I say when I enter the kitchen. April refuses to give up and I deny tiredness. Okay, I try.   
“Here” Donnie points somewhere next to the oven.   
“Where?” I go to him and see no place to hide. “Donnie wha-“ before I finish he catches my arms, turns me around and holds me tightly.  
“I got her, April” he shouts. I turn my face to look at him.  
“You little, wily pig” I drone.   
“Sorry, I just-“ I smirk at him.  
“Nice” I step on his foot lightly crushing it. When he lets go of my arms I start running and bump into April.  
“Going somewhere, Princess?” She asks.  
“Good one” Even I know when to back down. “So, where’s the infamous dress?” I walk pass her to living room.  
“C’mon I have to do your make up anyway” she says and I immediately stop walking.   
“Don’t cross the line, Aps” I threaten. There’s absolutely no way she’s touching my face.  
“Oh, c’mon, Karai” she wails. “let me just put some blush and pink lipstick to fit the dress” she suggest and I shiver.   
“Like hell I will.”  
“C’mon, you can’t have your red eyeliner-“  
“Then I’ll use black” Just stop fucking complaining, princess.  
“One chance, Karai, give me one chance!” She pleads and make puppy dog eyes.  
“One, JUST one” I tell her and grab the dress from her bag. “That’s all you’ve got” I hear her shout yes and jump in the air.  
Jesus Christ, does that girl ever shut up for at least a second?


	18. Chapter 17 p2

Chapter 17  
Part 2  
"Done. You can see yourself in the mirror now." April excitedly announces. Finally. I think to myself. It's been probably an hour since she started doing my make-up. At least she let my hair be.   
"Believe me, princess, I think it's better for both of us if I don't see my reflection." She sights but nods.   
"Let me grab my bag from the coach and we can leave." She says putting her hair in ponytail.  
"Thank God!" I throw my hands in the air.  
She stops in place and studies me for a moment before saying "You believe in God?"  
"No, I wouldn’t say believe but I read parts of Bible." I reply slowly. "Why?" She shakes her head protectively.   
"N-nothing. I just find it weird because, well, how to say it and not sound ridiculous?" Last part she mumbles to herself.   
"Split it out, April." I demand.  
"Well, you're Japanese. And I just thought that... a small amount of people believes in God there."  
"Oh my..., Don't make me a noun, okay?" I sigh. "It all started because I wanted to piss off Shredder. It worked for a while but he wasn't a religious type so after a month or two it stopped working." I explain. "But all those stories really got my interest. I don’t believe in it but it still has more sense than theory about live on Mars that ended few centuries ago because of a war with radioactive weapon."  
"There's a theory like that?" She asks me in disbelieve. "That can't be."  
"Oh, but it is. You should watch Ancient Aliens. It has like nine seasons and is mostly about highly developed civilizations on Mars, maybe other planets, too but I'm not sure." I shrug. "Not that I believe in any of them but at times it gets so dumb it's kinda funny." I shake my head and go back to the important topic. "Now go before decide to leave without you." She nods when I rush her.  
I stay inside the room for few more minutes a little scared to come out. I don’t fear to be made fun of but what being outside will feel like. April said it’s hot and sunny. I will walk among New York’s people and be… one of many.   
Some people would want to be recognized in the crowd. I’m just going to stick there and try to fit in. 

I tremble when door opens.  
“Sorry,” His benign voice breaks the silence that surrounded me for last couple of minutes. I turn around to find it awkward to face him in this state. “I thought you already left with April.” His eyes widen a bit while he – Is he checking me out?   
I ignore the thought and try not to stare at him.   
“We will soon. I just needed a minute to get used to this.” I point at my new image. I take a small bag April gave me as an accessory to the dress.   
“Well, you don’t look like yourself.” He rubs the back of his neck.   
“I don’t really feel like myself.” Why does it have to be so awkward? I ask myself when I reply him with a nod.   
I walk passed him to the door. Before leaving I hear him mumble “You look pretty though.” A small smile forms on my lips, because that’s a start and, well, it’s a quit nice one.  
“Ready, princess?” April giggles when I find her in living room with Donnie.   
“Don’t princess me, princess.” I sigh. “We going?” I ask showing my excitement to leave. I don’t show them I’m scared.   
“Yeah, bye D!” April tells him and we begin to walk out.   
“Wait, just…” Donnie handles me skeleton key. “Take it just in case.” Thoughtful. I would probably manage without it, but I’m sure it will save time.  
“Okay.” I nod in appreciation.  
“Alright, where are we supposed to go?” April asks me as we make our way out of the sewers.   
“Bronx. I have a small apartment there.” I say. “Shredder gave me enough money to find myself a flat away from Foot’s lair. It’s comfy, in quiet area and what’s the most important,” I explain. “Shredder doesn’t know where it is.”   
“Wow.” She exhales. “He didn’t even care about that?” April squeaks when I get onto the ladder to get outside. When she acknowledges what she just said she putts a hand over her mouth and whispers “Sorry.”  
I shrug at the statement. “It’s alright. Now, c’mon, princess, we only have few hours and I intend on making the best of them.”  
Light dazzles me, warming up my face. A whiffle makes me tremble. How I missed it. I grin at all feelings, sounds…   
“Feels good to be back right?” April putts her cool hand on my shoulder.   
“Yeah…” I say going out of alley. “Feels good to be back.” I whisper to myself. “This way.” I show her with my hand. She follows me and for a while we walk in silent. I watch as people pass us by. Being ignored never felt so good.  
I take in everything I see, new, high but also outdated and in need of repair buildings.   
“You know you’ve been staring at practically everything and haven’t said anything for fifteen minutes.” She chuckles at her own words.   
“What?” I ask in disbelief. “It only felt like… I don’t know two maybe…”   
“Nah, I don’t judge. I mean it’s been a while since you were outside.” I smile as we face the house I used to live in.  
“We’re here.”   
I take out a skeleton key when we reach the door. It doesn’t take long for me to open it and first thing I notice is a thick layer of dust on everything.   
“I hope you’re not allergic.” I mumble to April as I step in. “Yhm… there’s TV in the living room.”  
“Yeah, sure.” She answers with a smile. “Take your time.” I smile with appreciation. I make my way to bedroom when April stops me. “Donnie told me to give you this.” I frown when she hands me a small pen drive. “It will prevent anyone from locating us.”   
“I thought about destroying the computer after sending a message but I guess that works too.”  
I sit in front of my laptop for ten minutes before the idea of what to write crosses my mind.  
I obviously won’t start with Dear Miyako or anything so cringe worthy. I have to make it sound believable. She has to be sure it was me who wrote it.   
Okay, I think to myself when my fingers make contact with keyboard. Here we go.   
***  
When I finish and go find April she’s half asleep and some soap opera is on the TV. I grimace at a cheesy line said by one of the actors and shake April’s arm.   
“Wha- Is Alonso dead?” She yells causing me to chuckle.   
“First, I finished so we can go. Second, how can you watch this shit? And third, who the hell is Alonso? Should D be jealous?”   
“What? No, I mean… ugh… I was bored okay? And Alonso is the only character that doesn’t talk like a toddler. Also you said you finished so let’s go.” She stands up, grabs my hand and drags me toward the exit door, brushing off my last question.

“I don’t like this idea.” April repeats again making me sick.   
“Don’t panic, it’ll be fine.” I say when we walk out of subway. I speed up and search for the nearest ATM. “Before they truck us down we will be far away from here.”   
“You’re talking like a criminal.” She scolds me. She leans on the ATM and taps her nails against it.   
“And who do you think I was?” I smirk but deep inside I rebuke myself for the action.   
While I take money and brake the Foot Clan’s credit card I was given from Shredder April quickly fixes her hair. “I really don’t like this plan.”  
“Oh my…, will you calm down? I have the money, I broke the card and now we can get out of here and go for lunch.” She puts her hair in a loose knot. For a moment I think she ignored me but when she inhales to calm herself down she added quiet.  
“Fine, but it’s on you.” I grin at the answer.  
“Let’s go to Murak-.”   
“No.” I interrupt before she gets a chance to finish. “There’s no way I’m going there.”  
“Why?”  
“Seriously, princess? How about last time I visited him Tiger Claw almost killed him?” She contemplates on for a bit before she sighs.   
“I’m sure he’s not mad. But we can have something at City Center.” I gladly accept her offer. It’ll be less awkward…  
“After we’re done eating we should go shopping.” I tell her. “I want to buy guys something. Also I need some normal clothes.” I look down at the awful, pink, fluffy dress. April ignores my action and smiles at my offer and says it’s nice of me.   
“They’ll be so happy.” I think she’s so happy because she can actually talk to someone about them who isn’t them. Nor the douchebag Casey. With someone who owes them just as much if not more.  
“Yeah, but I was never good at buying presents. I mean I have some ideas when it comes to Mikey, maybe even Donnie but with Leo and Raph I have no clue.” I confess.  
“That’s weird.” She comments. “I understand it’s easy to buy something for Mikey. Donnie shouldn’t be hard, either. Also, I thought Leo wouldn’t be a problem.”  
“Why?”  
“Because you spend so much time with him and he went rebel for you once if I recall correctly. I don’t know I thought you guys have some kind of connection.” Well, apparently not at all. At least not according to last night. 

“…A punching bag?” I suggest a present for Raph but April shakes her head in disapproval and eats some of her chips.  
“Too big.” I sigh in disgust when a piece of a crisp falls out of her mouth.  
“Gross.” She frowns.   
“You’re the one to talk!” She frustrates.  
“What’cha mean?”  
“It’s eighty six digress (Fahrenheit) and you ordered green tea! And you know what’s worse? The fact you ordered it with honey.” She yells at me but not loud enough to get attention from people around us.   
“At least I won’t get a heat shock and cancer from drinking so much coke.” I explain. “Also my metabolism will get better and honey is very healthy.”   
“But it’s undrinkable. “   
“It’s not undrinkable.” I move the cup to her. “Just try it.” She takes a small sip and trembles right away.  
“Gross.” I roll my eyes at her. She laughs at me and I raise my eyebrows.   
“I can’t believe it.” Someone squeaks behind me. April stands up and clap her hands. Okay, what the fuck? “April O’Neil.” Are we fucked up yet?  
“Lorelai Mason.” She stands up and walks toward the girl hugging her tightly. She’s pale-skin and has long brown hair with lots of blond highlights. She wears a quiet short, pink skirt with a V-neck white shirt with flower pattern. Her eyes are light blue color, or at least the make-up she wears makes them look like this. She has a little bit too sharp nose and too small lips that are covered in light pink lipstick. She has light brown smoky eyes on her eyelids with a thin black line. “I thought you left New York for good.” Lorelai pulls away and giggles.  
“I thought so, too but it seems I came back for good.”  
“Lorelai this is my friend…” She wonders what to say so I decide to take the lead.  
“Harmony.” I tell her.  
“Wow, I love your hair.” She smiles. Not about my hair again. “It’s good not to be the only half blond.” She laughs sweetly. Her voice is soft, silvery and I’d say a bit singsong.   
“Nah, at least we’re not red.” I smirk at April. She ignores my comment and continues her chat with Lorelai.  
“So, when you came back?” April juts in conversation.  
“About six months ago. My father was given a better job here and … this city is our home so he couldn’t not accept it.”  
“Six months?! How come you didn’t contact me?”  
“I mean it’s been almost three years since I left and I didn’t know if you still remembered me.” I nod my head at everything they say and act like I actually give a fuck.  
“Oh, how could I forget? I mean you were the only one who understood how it was to have scientist for a father.”  
“So that’s how the two of you met?” Few more minutes focus on girls flashbacks about their childhood. Their dad’s worked together for few years until Lorelai’s father moved with her and her brother to Los Angeles when her mom died. Is everyone’s mom dead nowadays? Mine, Aprils’, Mo- I mean Miyako’s and Lorelai’s.  
“So you have any plans for today?” April asks her.  
“Yeah, I’m going with my friend, Isaac, to the movies. I came earlier because I have a habit of being late and this time I promised to be on time. And what about the two of you?”  
“We’re here to buy presents for our friends.”  
“Oh, that’s great I love buying other people presents.” She never stops smiling. “What do you want to buy?” 

Well, we don’t know yet.” I tell her. “Maybe you can help us?”  
“Okay, tell me something about them.”  
“Well, one of them is a real hothead and pain in the ass.”  
“He is also still depressed after the loss of his turtle Spike.” I turn my confused gaze to April   
“Raph had a turtle?” She asks me if that’s bad. “No, I just find it weirdly ironic.”  
“So he lost his beloved pet? Well, if he’s a pain in the ass maybe it’s because he suffers. Buy him something that won’t leave him.”  
“You mean…?” I’m scared to ask.   
“Buy him a cuddly lil’ turtle.” Lorelai giggles at her idea. Is she made of sugar? How can someone be smiling for ten minutes and not die?  
“I don’t think it’s a good-“ I interrupt April because I really like this idea.  
“It’s a great idea. You’re good at this.” When I say it her phone rings with a song I’ve never heard before. “What’s the title of the song?” She looks at me in disbelief.  
“It’s Cake by the ocean by DNCE. It came out in last’s year November I guess. You never heard it?” Okay… That’s awkward.   
“She was in Africa for last two years and came back this week. She hasn’t caught up on everything yet.” April does the weird explanation for me. Lorelai doesn’t seem to mind at all and answers the call. It turns out to be Isaac. She leaves April her phone number and with a goodbye she leaves to find her friend.  
April and I go shopping half an hour later. I buy Raph the cuddly turtle and roll my eyes every time April says we could have found something better. Like I care. But part of me really does and from what I know I expect Raph’s soft side to be at least pleased.   
Mikey comes next. I figured the best present for him would be either a cookbook or cake molds. “What do you think?” I ask April. She likes both but in the end we decided to take a Mexican cookbook.   
“I hope he’ll use it because that stuff looks amazing.” she nods in approval.  
“So next is Donnie?”   
“Yeah.”  
“Tech or chemicals?” I recall my conversation with him. He said he had problems with a helmet for April.  
“Tech.”   
I take for Donnie whatever I think would be useful, wires, switches, I even asked for a book about technology that combine with a brain (like in some artificial limbs).  
“I also need a phone.” I tell April while we’re still at the shop.   
“Okay, are you an iPhone type?” I sight an answer.  
“I’m not any phone type. Most of the phones I had were broken or destroyed within 2 month. Once I broke a phone two hours after I bought it.”  
“I don’t believe you.” she laughs at me. “It can’t be that bad. Besides we’ll get you a good quality phone.”  
“Make it two.” she frowns.  
“You’re not serious.”  
“I’m just secureious.” I overtake her and step into alley with phones.   
“That’s not even a word.” she yells after me. 

 

“I can’t believe you really bought two phones!” April scolds me. Again.   
“Quiet waling, princess.” I grunt. “Now we have to find something for Leo.”   
****Meanwhile in the lair (3rd person’s point of view)****  
April and Karai left and it was time for him and his brothers to have some bonding. At least that’s what in Karai’s eyes was good for him. And he trusted her. Not only because April did, but after some time he realized they had quite a lot in common.   
He opens the door to his lab ready to leave. And that’s when he sees Leo. His hand is up in the air clenched in a light fist. He must have wanted to knock.   
“Hey, Leo. What’s up?”   
“I need to talk to you.” He says, his voice’s unsure.  
“Okay.” Donnie walks inside again and sits on his chair. He waits for Leo to lean against lab table. “Is everything okay?”  
“What are you working on?” Leo asks avoiding his problem. He doesn’t know if he should be there, if he should ask Donnie for an advice this time. Maybe it was a bad idea? He rethinks his decision.  
“It’s nothing that can’t wait.” Leo sighs because it means he’ll have to speak.   
“Leo, what is it?” He brushes his face with his hand while he shake it slowly.   
“No, it’s… I should’ve not come and waste your time. Sorry, Do-“ His brother knows this look. He’s lost in thoughts about his feelings. Man, I’ve been there too. He thinks to himself.   
“No, Leo, you’re not a waste of time, neither is your… problem? Whatever it is you know you can tell me right? I was going to leave lab just now so I could spend some time with you and others.”  
“Oh, that’s great, Donnie. But don’t mind me asking why?”  
“Well, I had problems with few of my experiments and Karai suggested-“ Leo’s eyes widens at mention of girl’s name and Donnie noticed that immediately.  
“Oh, she did…?” His voice’s full of sadness he tries to hide behind a shock, but he was never a good liar. However, before Donnie can react he says. “That’s great, I mean you’ve been spending lots of time together.  
“Yeah, she’s an amazing friend.” Donnie smiles but that only makes Leo’s heart squeeze like someone tried to crush it inside their fist. And Donnie’s not blind. “Is everything okay between the two of you?”  
“I… I don’t know anymore more.” Leo whispers. “Did she, by any chance, tell you anything?” If Donnie’s attention wasn’t fully on Leo then it definitely is now.  
“What do you mean? Something about you?”  
“NO, I mean if you know any-, never mind. I just… Did she tell you anything personal, maybe something about her favorite color, food, movie, her past?”   
“Wow,” Donnie shakes his head. “wait if you want to know something about her shouldn’t you actually ask her?”  
“I tried, but…” He grabs the back of the table tightly. “She has nightmares every night.”  
“Okay.” Donnie nods slowly trying to process his brother’s words.  
“I think something from her past haunts her. I wanted her to talk to me; I wanted her to trust me with whatever burden she’s caring, I wanted to help…” He looks at the floor before he continues but he doesn’t take his from his feet. “And we started arguing because she thinks I wasn’t through enough to understand it.”  
“And did you consider her being right?” Leo looks up at his brother. “I know we were through a lot but… She was raised by Shredder, she learnt her real father was the one she blamed for her mother’s death, the one she wanted to kill. She was on streets for a year and a half as a mutant who could not control herself, she was brain washed and now she has to learn to live in the severs with four crazy ninja turtle brothers and her father who is a humanoid rat.”  
What hurts Leo the most is Donnie’s knowledge. It hurts because Leo knew all those things, Karai shouted them in his face after all, but after he heard them out loud he understood she would only tell him when she was ready and when she would trust him enough.   
“I did but… No, you’re right. She was right. I… Thanks D, I’ll just go.” He turns around. He wants to be out so badly. He scolds himself, not for coming here, but for not trying to understand why Karai refused to tell him anything. He knows he lost his chance to learn anything about Karai. If he’d just though for a second before he started mindlessly asking questions.  
“If it makes it any better, I heard her talk to Sensei this morning.” Those words make Leonardo stop in place right away.   
“W-what did you hear?” Leo’s voice trembles.   
“He asked her if she slept well and she said yes, because of the talk they had.” Donnie feels bad because he never liked rumors and he’s never spread one but he knows his brother was head over heels for Karai. He knows because Leo looks at Karai the same way he looks at April. And he would do anything to hear something about April, even a stupid rumor.  
“Y-you think they talk in the middle of the night?” Leo doesn’t even try to hide the hope in his voice. If Donnie confirms his hopeful thoughts that would mean even though Karai didn’t tell him, she used his advice and that would mean she trusted him, somehow even with her secrets.  
“It sounded like that. Yeah.” Donnie saw the smile on Leo’s face and even though he doesn’t understand why his brother smiles so wildly, he is happy to see the change.   
“That’s… that’s great.” Leo prepares himself to leave his brother in peace, I wasted enough of his time already, is now one of many things in his head.   
“Leo, do you think I could watch a movie with you or something?” He says quietly in shy voice. Leo turns around and walks over to his timid brother with now a banana on his face.   
“Why are you even asking? Of course you can.”  
“I just… I’m not around you guys as much as I would want to be and I… feel like an outsider sometimes. Heck, Casey spends more time with you than I do.” He rubs his neck nervously. He knows he must look pathetic. He stands in front of his leader after all. Leo is close with everyone. He argues all the time with Raph but at the same time it bonds them, he is good at avoiding Mikey’s pranks and it makes Mikey want to be around his older brother more, April cares about all of them but since Leo was injured she wants to be around him more (and he minds it a lot, though he doesn’t blame Leo, he’s just so nice to everyone. At least most of the time), he even manage to be good friends with Casey on the farm (though he doesn’t know what to think about their relationship anymore, after Karai, brainwashed of course, kissed Casey they didn’t talk much).   
“Oh, Donnie, you’re not an outsider! Don’t you dare to think that ever again! Okay maybe you spend most of the time in your lab, but how am I supposed to blame you?! I put you dare after all!” He recalls times when Karai was still under Shredder’s control. Leo wanted to help her so badly and all the pressure was on Donnie because he was, at least his family thought he was, the only one smart enough to find the cure. And he didn’t.  
“I’m sorry for everything I said a few months ago.” Leo’s voice brings D back to reality. “I know it’s not enough but I never meant it. I was an awful bro back then. You did everything you could I just…” He scratches the back of his neck looking at his feet. “I really appreciate everything you did to save Karai. I acknowledge everything you do for us, I know it must be pretty hard. I just want to know you’re not alone. We’re all here for you.” He embraces Donnie tightly.   
Those words make Donnie smile. He never really talked to Leo from heart, at least not in a while. He must say he needed to hear all of this. Karai was damn right.   
“So…, what about that movie?” He says when   
“Oh, right.” Leo chuckles. “Mikey found something. I don’t really know what it’s about but I guess it’s worth a try.”   
“Yeah, he was always good with-“ Donnie’s T-phone starts ringing and when he takes it on the screen he sees April face. “Wait a sec.” Leo nods a bit uptight. He just wants to know the reason April would call them. He hopes it’s not about Karai. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE’S GONE?”  
****Karai’s point of view. Shopping center.****  
“How about a book?” April asks me.   
“That’s…” I think of it for a moment. “Not a bad idea at all. “She smiles at me proudly. It vanishes when I don’t like any synopsis of the books. “April listen.” I get her attention and read. “When Bree Prescott arrives in the sleepy, lakeside town of Pelion, Maine, she hopes against hope that this is the place where she will finally find the peace she so desperately seeks. On her first day there, her life collides with Archer Hale, an isolated man who holds a secret agony of his own.”I put a hard, almost crying, accent on the last sentence. “A man no one else sees.” I laugh at the story. “It sounds so awfully… I don’t even know if to say cheesy or cringe worthy.”  
“Why would it be any?” April frowns when I eye roll her sentence.   
“God, just… She’s a normal and sometimes even ugly or invisible girl with tons of problems and he’s the most handsome guy in school or town and somehow he notices her and wants to deal with her problems and it’s an insta love and it makes me wanna puke.”  
“What love?”  
“Insta love. Like you know you see him and you know he’s the only one you’ll ever love and you’ll die for him if you get a chance.”  
“Oh.” She nods a bit ashamed. “But doesn’t that make a book interesting?”  
“No, because the only dialogue you’ll hear between the lovebirds is Oh, I love you so much but you should stay away because I have to make fake problems!”  
“Alright.” She says, taking out her phone. “I know who can help us.”  
“Who?” I ask half interested, putting the book on its place.   
“Lorelai.”  
“Isn’t she on a date or something?”  
“She said he was a friend and their movie should be over by now. I mean it’s been three hours since we started shopping and she left us even sooner.”  
“Three hours?” I squeak. “We still have nothing for Leo and none clothes for me.”  
“What’s wrong with the one I gave you?” She asks surprised.   
“They’re yellow.”  
“And?”  
“They’re yellow.”  
“Yeah, I heard I’m not deaf you know. I just don’t understand why it’s a pro-.”  
“No one and I mean no one normal wears yellow clothes and Barbie dresses! That’s a problem.” She shakes her head trying to stop herself from giggling.   
“Okay, I promise we’ll go buy you some normal clothes. Just let me call Lorelai, I’m sure she will know some great books. Unless you buy him something about Japan.”  
“Why would I? He probably knows everything about it.”

 

“And? What did she tell you?” I ask April when she ends her call. It lasted over fifteen minutes and I’m pretty sure she sleeps at her place today.   
“Ugly love.”  
“That sounds like a shitty romans.” I scoff. “Let me see it. When Tate Collins meets airline pilot Miles Archer, she doesn't think it's love at first sight. But it of course is! “ I make a disgust face.   
“Oh, come on! Give it a try.”  
“You know we’re supposed to find a book for Leo and not me.” I want to leave the store but April doesn’t let me and in the end she buys the book for me as a present.   
“I’d rather read Pride and Prejudice once again.”   
“You read that?” Her eyes get bigger in disbelief.   
“I think every girl did and what would you do almost alone in the mountains for a year with no internet?” I lift an eyebrow at her and wait for an answer. I get another question.  
“What were you even doing there for so long?” I don’t even consider telling her a real reason. But it doesn’t mean I lie at all.   
“I was learning patience, I upgraded my skills, I learnt how to play piano, guitar, violin and speak few languages and after it all bored me I read. First it was mostly about Japan and its history, later about other countries and in the end only romances were left.”  
“If you don’t like them so much why-.”  
“-didn’t I read Agatha Christy? Believe me I did. And other authors similar to her.”   
“Who got you all the stuff?”  
“I said I was almost alone. I had a doctor with me, few teachers and you know few other no important people.” She stops in place after I mention doctor. O’Neil if you dare to ask I will murder you immediately!  
“I need to pee.” I silently sigh in relief.  
I look to my left and indeed I see a toilet. I nod and at the same time roll my eyes at her being so childish.   
“Go, I’ll wait here.” She smiles thankfully and leaves. I find a branch to sit on and right away realize how much my legs hurt. I haven’t been out for long and walking for hours made my legs go unbelievably weak.   
“Mommy?” I hear a baby cry. I turn my head to see a maybe five year old girl in shorts and white shirt with a pineapple on it. She looks totally scared but people keep walking past her not giving a fuck.  
Good, her mother will have a lesson. Who loses their kid in a freaking shopping center? But a girl keeps crying and it gets more annoying every passing second. But it also makes my heart squeeze. Someone just fucking help her! But when no one does I pick my ass up and walk to her.  
“Hey, why are you crying?” I ask her as nicely as I can when I squat to face her.   
I myself hate all this kind of questions because I know why she’s crying , but before I can help her she has to put some trust in me or I’ll be taken for a kidnapper when she starts yelling for me to let her go.  
“I-I los-st my m-mommy.” She stutters and whips tears from her cheeks. No shit. I stop myself from rolling my eyes because first I’m here to help her and she’s only five, also if I do it once again my eyes will fall out of their orbits. “Can you help me find her?”  
“Sure.” I stand up and wave in the direction I want her to go with me.   
“I’m Julie.” I look at her, eyes widen, when she puts her hand in to mine. Who gave you a permission, child? I keep walking shaking the question out of my head. “What’s your name?” Just great.   
“Harmony.” I drag her across the ally while I try to find this place’s security. Introducing myself as Harmony seems so easy now. At least more than Miwa.  
“I like it. It sounds so sweet.” She smiles, forgetting she’s lost her mom and is walking somewhere with a stranger.   
“Yeah, whatever.” I mumble, and pull her forward by the hand.   
“Are you new in here?” She asks me, speeding up.  
“No, why?” I raise my brow at her question.  
“Because you look lost.”  
“I wouldn’t say that if I was you.” I say and see her smile washes away. Why do I even care? With a sigh I tell her. “Shopping centers just aren’t my thing.” She lifts her gaze up again to scan my face.  
“Then what are you doing here?” I scold myself for even talking to her. I should have left there. Ignore her cry… God, what’s going on with me?! Normally, I wouldn’t care about stupid kid and now I’m helping her find her mom.   
“I’m looking for something for my friend.” I say trying to be nice. But all I won’t to do is to tell her to shut up.   
Is there no guards in here?!  
“What is he like?”  
“What?” I snap.  
“What is he like? If you tell me I can help you.”  
“Why would you?” The truth is I don’t trust selfless help.  
“Same reason you’re helping.” I… don’t really know the reason… “So…, what is he like?” Geez, I’m not really doing this, am I?  
“Well, he’s… a dork, he likes kids’ stuff, but… at the same time he’s… smart… and brave…”  
“Owww…” Her pupils shine when she looks at me.   
“What?”  
“Tell me more. Like what he likes?”   
“He… he likes martial art, Japanese culture but I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t like anything about it, because… he already knows a lot.”  
“What else?”  
“I don’t kno-, wait he likes Space Heroes!” When it comes to my head I stop walking. Firstly, how could have I not thought of it before? Secondly, what does it change?  
“I don’t know this one. Is it like Scooby Doo or Capitan America?” She asks with a small frown on her face while she thinks.  
“Cap, but why does it matter?” I shrug.   
“Well, on second floor are gadgets and comics. I can take you there if you want.” I try not to consider it. They probably don’t know what Space Heroes are there, anyway. But it might be my only chance to get Leo something he’d like.   
“Okay, but we have to be quick.” I tell her with one of my fingers up in the air. She claps her hands together and giggles.  
“YEY, follow me.” Now she’s the one to pull me into the crowd and drag me upstairs. 

We reach the shop, which isn’t as small as I thought it would be, and inside is absolutely everything. Action figures, DVDs and comics.   
“Hi,” I say to one of workers. He’s a bit taller than me, he has auburn hair and weird glasses on. “I’m looking for the most unique comic of Space Heroes series.” I tell him. His eyes grow so huge I think they’ll crack.   
“Y-you know what Spa-“ I raise my hand to stop him from starting to ramble.  
“Yeah,yeah. Now make it quick because I found that child in a shop and I have to return her to her mother.” He raises an eyebrow for a second before bursting into laughter.  
“Oh, sorry.” He says right before I turn around to leave. “I thought you weren’t for real , but-“ He cuts off when I roll my eyes. “Never mind.” Okay. “We are one of the biggest shop for fangirls and fanboys.” He waves for me to go after him. I follow trying to ignore his pep talk. Yada, yada, yada… “Here they are.” He stops in front of long, glassy shelf. “Okay, the most unique one is the first part of the first edition. But it’s also the most expe-“ Okay, Leo would definitely like it.   
“I’ll take it!” I shut him up. I go after him to pay and he says if I was serious about a kid, who’s been weirdly quiet since we entered the shop, then I should take her to guards office few shops away.   
I nod and quickly leave the store.   
“What’s your name, kiddo?” A guard asks her. Then he wants to know her age and few other things and soon announces the information about a lost child.   
“Thank you, Harmony.” She tells me when the Man disappears to make an announcement.  
“It’s nothi-“ I couldn’t predict she would hug my legs tightly. She’s quiet strong and who knows maybe she’d be a good kunoichi, if she just watched her mouth or bite her tongue once in a while. Why am I even thinking this? I should go, April must be done alre-, APRIL! “It’s fine Julie. But you can do me a favor you know?”  
“I thought I already did.” She mumbles when her small finger stabs a bag with a comic. I chuckle at her behavior with a shake of my head.  
“Julie, do you know anything about martial art?”  
“Like Kung Fu Panda?”  
“You mean kung fu? I thought about ninjutsu, but I guess that works, too.” I turn around to leave but she caps my hand. It’s work and soft. Her grip is tight and firm.  
“What do you mean?”   
“Just… I think you should know some basis in case you get lost again.” I take my hand out of the grip and leave. I only hear quiet goodbye, Harmony before a door shut behind me. For some reason I answer her in my mind. Goodbye, Julie.   
****Meanwhile in the lair (Leonardo’s point of view)****  
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE’S GONE?” Donnie yells to the phone and I can feel all my muscles go numb.   
“Put her on speaker.” I demand. My brother does that with a rapid nod and soon I ask April for an explanation. “April what happened?” I try to sound calm, but I feel my voice shiver more with every word.   
“I went to toilet, ‘cause I needed to pee and Karai was supposed to wait for me outside, and now she’s not here!” She says hastily, I barely understand what she says, but I know she left Karai. Alone. When she’s the most wanted person Shedder’s ever wanted.   
“You left her?!” I scream at her. Part of me knows it’s not April’s fault, but Geez I knew it wasn’t a good idea! And who would leave Karai alone when I – we fought to get her back for so long?  
“Don’t yell at her!” Donnie scolds me and I know he’s right, but I ignore his comment.   
“Okay, I’ll get guys and we-” I almost storm out of the lab. However, Donnie’s hand on my arm stops me.   
“Leo! We can’t just go to a shopping center!”   
“But we can’t just stand here, Donnie! Foot might have captured her!”  
“Don’t you think, Leo? What would Foot ninjas do in a shopping center in the middle of the day?! And nobody would notice they kidnapped a teenage girl? Also maybe you should have a bit more faith in Karai and her skills?!” Fuck you, Donnie. Fuck you being right! I want to explode because I see how stupid it all sounds. But where is she then?   
“Okay, maybe it sounds ridiculous but how you explain her disappear?”  
“Maybe she’s in the toilet or something? I don’t know!” God, I’m doing this again.   
“Sorry, I just-“  
“Guys, she’s here. Fake alarm sorry.” April rapidly squeaks and hangs up.   
“What the-?” But I don’t try to even finish when only beep is hearable on the other side on the phone. She’s here means she’s safe. That’s all I need to know.   
But I look at Donnie and I see for what I apologized a while ago happened again. I’m an awful brother. “I’m sorry, D.” I look at my feet.   
“It’s fine.” He says. But it’s so not. I turn to leave, but he reaches me. “What about that movie?”  
“I…” am not worthy not watch a movie with you. At least not after what I just yelled. “Don’t feel like watching one, but you should watch one with guys. They’ll be happy.”  
“Leo…” I leave the lab and go straight to my room. I spend rest of the day here, hoping no one will come.  
****Shopping center (Karai’s point of view)****  
“Where the hell have you been? And what were you thinking?” April runs to me and hugs me tightly when I only appear in her sight.  
“I… Sorry? I just helped a lost girl find her mom, I mean I took her to guard’s office or whatever that place’s called and she in return show me this… great?, shop with comics and I found a present for Leo there.” She smiles wildly.  
“Oh, that’s so sweet! Of you and her! And oh, wait you have something for him? And it wasn’t my idea?” She grumbles the last part.   
“Nah, April, it’s good I have something for him, doesn’t matter whose idea it was.”  
“Okay so maybe we can buy something normal for Raph no-“ She says but I walk past her making her run after me.   
“Forget it, princess. I want to see his face when I give him the cuddly.” I say a bit too excited. But hey who could blame me? I haven’t talked to Raph since… Leo found me and it’s time for us to interact!  
“So, now what? More shopping?” I shake my head instantly.  
“Oh, no we can do that some other day but now we’re going home. I never thought I’d say it but I’m so exhausted I’d do everything to just sit down.”  
“Maybe my place then?” April offers. I sense she doesn’t want to go to the lair, at least not yet, but I don’t dare to ask why. “We would listen to some music so you wouldn’t have to lie about spending past year or so in Africa again.” I hate to say I like this agenda.   
“Lead the way, princess.”

While we go to April’s house I wonder what it might look like. Someone would probably think of it as casual but it depends on where and how you were raised. But even I would call this place causal.   
Describing this flat is the easiest thing I did in a while. You enter the hall which leads you to either April’s room or leaving room. The second is bigger than I expected. Its walls are yellow, almost orange, furniture are dark and made in an old style. From living room April shows me a small kitchen, restroom and her father’s room with an office or rather lab.   
The last one is April’s room and it’s freaking orange. Should’ve probably expected it. It has a bit lighter furniture than in living room. It’s definitely nothing special.  
She shows me to sit down on her bed and hands me her laptop with the Spotify on. She tells me what’s been popular since I got mutated. Together we listen to the songs for a while.  
“Karai?” She says unsurely while I listen to the newest hits. I lift my gaze from laptop and move it on her, giving a nod I listen. “Could you um… help me in my training? And I mean real help.” She must refer to bigger cleavage. I sigh but nod anyway.  
“Fine. I think I owe this to you, anyway.” She grins and embraces me firmly. “Nah, stop!” I say and receive loud no. “But I don’t like hugs!” She laughs at me and takes her arms away.   
“One day you’re going to realize how much you’re missing.” She warns me.  
“Believe me, I that won’t happen.”   
Soon, we leave her flat and return to the lair. Before that she gives me her mp3 player with, as she said, all best songs of the year. But after what I heard today I wouldn’t call her taste in music the best.   
“I need to warn you.” April tells me before we enter.   
“Yeah?” I ask impatiently.   
“When you disappeared back in the shopping center I…” She rubs the back of her and looks down at her feet.  
“April,” I say. “What did you do?” I don’t know if I’m curious or tired, or if I don’t want to spend the whole night in the sever but if she won’t start talking now I’ll-  
“I called Donnie.” She says so quickly I can barely understand. But I do.  
“You did what?!” I yell and move fast to the lair.  
“What was I supposed to do, huh? I thought someone kidnapped you!”  
“In a shopping center? And who would? April, please, Shredder doesn’t even know where I am and that I’m not a mutant anymore.  
“And even if he knew I dressed up so no one would recognize me!” I leave her behind me.   
I enter house few seconds later, not caring if April still follows.   
“Hey, K.” Mikey greets me. From living room. Wait, K?  
“K?” He grimaces with a nod and walks to me. He doesn’t look scare about my well-being…  
“I know, but you see I give everyone nicknames and I figured you need one to.”  
“Call it codename and I’ll give it a shot.”  
“Yesss.”   
“But call me K once again and I’ll break both your legs, K?” My threaten turns bittersweet at the final okay.   
He nods rapidly and I smirk at him. “Now, take this.” I take a cookbook I bought for him and give him.   
“What is it?” He takes it slowly and unsurely.  
“I think it’s called a present.” He watches it with fascination.   
“That’s a Mexican cookbook.” He smiles broadly. “My first book ever!” My eyes widen at this. I want to ask him how he learnt to cook so incredibly well, but the answer is obvious – internet. “Thank you!” He opens his arms and leans into a hug but I catch his hand and squeeze it rigidly.  
“Don’t hug me or I’ll break it.” I threaten him.  
“I wanna see that.” Raph walks toward us with a grin.   
“Oh, he talks.” I say with a smirk on my face. “I have something for you, too, Raphie-poo.” He raises a brow, his arms crossed on his chest.   
“What did you just ca-“ I take out a cudly and force it into his hands.   
“Ta da!”I interrupt him. “I know it’s not Spike but at least it won’t die or whatever Spike did.”  
“Wait h-how… WHO told you about Spike and he’s not dead-“  
“Oh, Raphie-poo I have my secret sources.” Then I go to living room to find Donnie.   
“Wait- what just…” Raph stutters. He stays still with a turtle cudly in his hand staring at it. I am really curious what he thinks of it because he doesn’t look mad but taken aback by the gest. He’s just one of this people with a mask on.   
Something we have in common.  
I find Donnie on the couch watching TV. When he sees my shadow he turns around and immediately stands up. “Hi, gosh you got me so worried!” He greets me.  
“Nah, April shouldn’t have called you. I just went to buy something.” I wave my hand brushing off the subject. “But wait you didn’t tell anybody?”  
“No, I mean Leo was with me when she called me and we got a bit stressed out and Leo wanted to go outside and search for you, dumb I know, but then April rumbled something about seeing you and she hanged up. I decided not to tell anyone because Mikey and Sensei would only worry and Raph would ramble some shit.” He explains with a smile. “I think I saved us both from annoying talks.”  
“You have no idea.” I smile. “Oh by the way,” I give him the bag with a book and wires and whatever else is there. “I thought you’d need that. But if you want this you have to spend some time outside of lab first!”   
“And what do you think I was doing all day!?” He laughs and moves so I can see what he was watching. “I spend few hours watching anime with Mikey and Raph and we’re going skateboarding after the patrol.” I see his excited for it and that makes me feel warm inside. God, it’s such a weird feeling.   
“Wow, congrats.” I tell him. “Where’s Leo?”  
“In his room. What about April?” Oh, shit.   
“Ymmm… She didn’t follow? Well, she must have already gone home. Oh, I know! We met her friend today and they’re going to have a sleepover.” I try to end the subject before I tell him too much and before he asks too many questions.   
“I’ll call her.” He says with his phone already out.   
“No.” I say a bit too fast. “You should give her some space. You know she’s there practically all the time. She needs some time for herself. Plus I’ll call her later I need something from her anyway.” I smirk at how smoothly I get him to believe me.   
I move toward Leo’s room when my stomach growls. “Tell Mikey to cook something before you leave?” He nods and walks straight to the kitchen, checking his phone once in a while. 

I stand in front of his door for few minutes before I decide to knock. When I do I open the door right away. He sits on the bed with a book in his hands.   
“Hi, you’re back.” He says in stupor.   
“Hi, yeah I just… I um I have something for you.” I search for a comic book and handle it to him. “I know you’re a spacey and I just thought you’d like-“ I see on a cupboard the same comic book and stop in place. He notices on what my gaze is focused on. “Oh, I didn’t… I’ll change it for a di-“   
“No, it’s great.” He interrupts me with an awkward smile. “This one is…” He points at the unpacked comic. “Mikey wiped his butt with it.” He sighs and rubs his forehead.   
“Oh.” I give him the present.  
“Thanks.” He takes a look at the comic and an awkward silent falls between us.   
“Mikey’s making dinner.”   
“I’m not hungry.” He replies quickly. Alright.   
“I’ll get going then.” I turn around to leave and when he doesn’t stop me I feel like I might know what to say. With a hand on a doorknob I tell him. “Leo, what I said before… I didn’t mean it, at least not like that. What I want to say is just…” When did I start to stutter? “Sometimes it’s better not to take a burden you can’t handle.” With that I leave but I feel his gaze on my back even when the door closes behind me.   
****Japan, Tokyo –7 a.m., Foot Clan’s headquarters, (3rd person’s point of view)****  
A message comes through fax with a loud clink.   
“これは何ですか？” (What is this?) Ashiri says harshly. His daughter doesn’t know but for months he’s been going through her things at Shredder’s orders. They both hope he’ll find some kind of a hint to get to Karai.   
When he takes the paper an evil grin creeps on his face, although he never liked the nickname his daughter uses.  
Mona  
I know you’re angry at me for not keeping in touch as I promised I would, but everything has changed.   
I won’t contact you. And you should NOT try to find me.   
Don’t trust anybody.  
See you when the time comes.  
Karai  
Arashi hides paper in a secret pocket of his armor.   
“Pack my bags along with Miyako’s and get us tickets to New York.” He orders to one of his minions. When a student disappears he takes out his phone. Shredder 喜んでいただけることでしょう. (Shredder will be pleased).


End file.
